Tuesday, December 06, 2005

me & metaphysics

I've had some bad experiences over the past few months with the metaphysical world. The only positive one was that I was invited to write an article for a local publication called The Door Opener about Mayanism, which I did. I also paid for an advertisement to run in that same issue about my upcoming Mayanism class. Seems like a slam-dunk, right? well, the ad didn't run, and I got no one for the class. The only student I've ever gotten for it never paid me--from 2 years ago.
Also the whole thing with the Feathered Serpent Initate thing (the reason I started this blog)...the teacher flaked out on me, he never once read any of my postings, and he stopped sending me lessons even though I'd paid in advance and bought $200 worth of books to support the lessons.
I had a horrible experience at the New Age Fair I work at a few times a year. I was in a lot of pain from my tailbone (which I thought would be healed by then, and wasn't or I wouldn't have agreed to go), and then I got one 1 reading and no reflexology clients. I decided to just cut my losses and go home halfway through the day. I went downstairs to collect the $10 owed to me for the reading and found out they'd changed their procedures and I OWED money. $20 for my "space" (in a hallway where no paying vendor would EVER be placed). $20 for bringing my own chair (my reflexology chair--would they provide one for me? No. But I have to pay to bring my own.) and the minimum of $20/10% from my reflexology business. So I was $60 in the hole just for showing up and I'd only made $10. They had changed the rules without telling anyone in advance. WRONG.
So I am not working there anymore. I was just going to do readings, but no, I'm not doing that either.
I've mentioned on here how I stopped my Circle of Light meetings due to lack of interest. (A lack so profound that when I put up a poll asking "why didn't you come to meetings" no one ever responded!) I had very few students for Shamballa this year--a class of 3 way back in April who were mostly upgrades who already knew Reiki and another woman who took 2 levels around the same time. I had her and 3-5 past students ready for level 3 and none of them could get it together to agree on a date, or they had no money, blah blah blah.
So fuck it. I'm not teaching Shamballa anymore. I'm not doing Reiki sessions or reflexology sessions. I'm not putting myself out there and getting slapped down.
Why am I even posting this here? No one ever comes and reads this blog--there was one guy who commented for a while, but not lately.

Mayan-themed dream (6 lamat)

This morning I had a kind of strange Mayan-themed dream.
I was in Mexico somewhere, at these ruins. Except that they'd turned them into a kind of theme park. When you snorkled or dived you could listen to a tape telling you what to look at (like in a museum) and they also had rides and clowns and a single hyacinth macaw (the huge blue ones).
I was going to go snorkeling with a bunch of people (people I know, but I don't remember who they were now) and take pictures of the ruins (did I mention they were underwater mostly?). But I couldn't find all my gear at once. I'd find my mask, but not my camera, or my snorkel and not my mask, etc. So all the people in my group left without me.
Eventually I managed to get everything together at once and went down to where you get into the water, and it wasn't easy. There were no stairs or ramps. It was just a concrete retaining wall with the water underneath it and the pyramid off to the side. I figured I could jump in okay but how would I get back out? I jumped in and started adjusting my equipment and looking into the water when I noticed that my camera's yellow underwater housing wasn't closed properly because it was broken, and it was broken because someone had borrowed it and obviously damaged it. Immediately I started worrying about my expensive digital camera inside the houseing, but when I went to the edge of the pool and opened the housing, the camera wasn't even in there. So I gave the broken housing to someone to put aside for me (and hoped no one would steal it, although it has no value unless you have the special camera which fits in it).
I didn't want to listen to the commentary tapes & I was upset that I couldn't take pictures but I started swimming around anyway. There were lots and lots of really pretty fish, brightly colored, purple ones, yellow ones, red ones. I realized I was more interested in the fish than the ruins, and why not? The ruins were just building blocks. No statues or glyphs or paintings. I swam along the bottom of the pyramid and started down the hill (yes, the water was on a hill, can't explain) toward the actual beach and more ruins and pyramids out in the ocean. (That's when I saw the macaw and the rides, from the hilltop vantage point.) I met all my friends coming back and they were saying how they swam all the way out into the open ocean to the ruins out there but it was too far for me to go alone, and no one wanted to go back with me.
And then my husband woke me up.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

hiatus & NaNoWriMo

I'm doing NaNoWriMo and my computer at home just blew up (literally-my moniter exploded in shower of blue sparks) so I can't get to the program where I have all the days already done out and easily paste them into the blog for daykeeping. So what little computer time I have for the next few days will have to go toward NaNo, and not this blog, because face it, hardly anyone comes here, and lots of people interact with me on the NaNo site.
As soon as I complete my 50,000 words for NaNo and get a new monitor, I'll catch up.
If you are a NaNo visitor, go ahead and read what I've already written (there's months worth). If you post an anonymous comment, please put your NaNo id in it if you want a response.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

3 Cimi Intention portal (& how to pray)

12.19.12.13.6 3 Cimi 4 Zac

Well, we're back in a string of portal days, but these are the flip side. We've recieved, and now we ask for more. Do I need to go over the rules for asking? I think I should.

#1 Give thanks.
#2 Do NOT demean yourself.
#3 Sacrifice

Uh-oh, I said the S-word. If that scares you, you don't understand the word.

Here's how I was taught to pray when I used to be Catholic:
I had to be in church, or on my knees. I had to tell God how great he was. I had to tell God how crappy I was. I had to tell God I wasn't worthy of anything because I was a piece of slime. I had to make insane promises to God that I would never keep. And finally I got to make my request. But even making a request for myself was utterly selfish. Really, I should only pray for OTHER people--because as a piece of slime, I wasn't worthy.

A typical prayer, after the rote saying of the "our father" and "hail mary" and all that:
"God, I am not worthy of the slightest crumb of your attention; I am a bad little girl. I (insert sins here). I will say 10 (insert prayer name here) every day forever if you will just make (insert sick person here) better. This is not for me, but for (him/her)."

Then I learned Huna, and I learned how to pray properly.
1. Always find something good to thank the (energy/diety/angel) for. Do the thanking FIRST. Thank them for rain if it's been dry, or dry if it's been rain, or the recent promotion you recieved, or the out-of-season rose in your yard that bloomed just to say "hi". Thank them for your health (and if you're alive, you've got some!), your wealth, whatever it is that you've got and enjoy.
2. Make the request for YOU. No one cares about you if you don't. If you want your sick (person) to live, it's because you will miss (him/her). If you want a million dollars, it's to make YOUR life better. (We know that you are a good person and will help others with that money, but you can't help if you've got nothing.) You deserve to be well-treated. Don't apologize for your request or list your shortcomings. State your needs. Imagine this: you work with 2 people. One of them is a "poor me--I suck" person who constantly apologizes for everything, is timid and frightened and a martyr. The other person is bold and confident and self-assured. Who do you give the promotion to if their work is equal??
3. And offer a gift. This is the scary S word. If you choose to offer your blood (NOT EVER someone else's!), that's your choice. You can offer any of your essences you want (blood, sweat, tears, semen). You can swirl alcohol in your mouth and spit it on the ground or in a river (in a non-crude way please--no big loogies). You can bury a crystal, leave out food, whatever works. But you must give something up to get something in return.

Back to Cimi. Cimi is change. Change how you ask for things and see what happens!

Monday, October 24, 2005

2 Chicchan

12.19.12.13.5 2 Chicchan 3 Zac

Chicchan, the serpent kundalini energy. I feel like today the snake is sly and hiding. Why should he come out when the energy is so low, only a 2? Normally I'd say today was a day to do some gentle yoga or tai chi. But I think if you want to get your kundalini to wake up and pay attention today, you need to do something a bit rash. What that is, I couldn't (won't) say. Good luck.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

1 kan

12.19.12.13.4 1 Kan 2 Zac

Back down to one energy...whew. Feels like naptime always, when we go from 13 to 1 every time.

Kan is the muse, the creative impetus energy, the kick-in-the-pants that gets us going. One is a strange energy. Although it's the lowest, it's also the impetus number (word of the day) so it's a double kick-in-the-pants day.

If you've been stalled (as I have been), if you haven't had that "spark"--today you should feel it! Go for it.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

13 Akbal

12.19.12.13.3 13 Akbal 1 Zac

Ah, to be back in the energies of Akbal again! 13 is of course the most powerful Akbal day and might well turn into a day you non-Akbal people want to crawl inside a hole and hide. But if everyone's in a hole...how does that go? Anyway, if you are all in the hole with me today, then I'm free, right? I'm just like everyone else...although why I would want to be like anyone else escapes me. But some times, some days, I do briefly wish for it.

Friday, October 21, 2005

12 Ik

12.19.12.13.2 12 Ik 0 Zac

12 Ik-a day of communication, the wind, the breath of god. But with the number being so high, things can be misunderstood. Talking too much may loose your case instead of win it. Beware of the babble! And God's kiss today could bowl us right over.

However, if you're blessed with a silver tongue, things will go well for you today.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

11 Imix

12.19.12.13.1 11 Imix 19 Yax

Whew, that's over (for another 250 days, anyway). I really don't like to examine myself so closely. Too afraid of what I'll find, I guess.

So we're back to plain ol' days (for a little while--then we have a mirror string of intention portals coming up).

11 Imix--11 is of course a master number, the number of illumination. And Imix is the Earth Mother, who protects us, and occasionally smothers us with hurricanes, typhoons, floods, tsunamis, mudslides, earthquakes, etc. Looking at what's been going on the last year, with all of the above killing thousands of people at a time. Maybe we do need to shine a light on that, and see why. It's terrible to think she doesn't love us anymore, and even worse to think we caused (are causing) this with our thoughtless behaviour of pollution and greed.

Maybe those reflection days aren't so over, huh?

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

10 Ahau (reflection/burner)

12.19.12.13.0 10 Ahau 18 Yax

Final reflection day! And burner day! This is it. And Ahau is so perfect for endings. It's the culmination of all the work we've done for the last 19 days. Bring it all together. How can all your musings and thoughts and little exercises have made you into the highest and best you can be?

And don't forget the burner day energy! Look for something to happen, a large event.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

9 Cauac (reflection)

12.19.12.12.19 9 Cauac 17 Yax

Tomorrow ends this center row of the Tzolkin, these days of reflection. Today we're in Cauac, the rainstorm, which is appropriate since in the Northeast we just had something like 9 days straight of rain (it started the day I fell--the 8th). But Cauac isn't always about rain. It's about energy. I see it as Reiki of sorts, or qi, or mana, or whatever your word is.

So today, not only bless those pesky rainclouds, but really try to get a sense of that natural energy. You connected with it a few days ago during Ix; try to find it again.

Monday, October 17, 2005

8 Etznab (reflection)

12.19.12.12.18 8 Etznab 16 Yax

Etznab-sacrifice, balance, energy exchange, fairness.

Are you being treated fairly? Do you treat others fairly? You know in your heart when you have cheated people--left $3 as a tip when it should have been $4 because you didn't want to leave a $5 or wait for change. When the cashier didn't charge you for some small item that got left in the carriage by accident and not put on the conveyer. You can't go back and change what you did, but you can do something NOW with intent. Overtip another waiter. Give the price of the "free" item to charity. You know what you need to do. And think about it--did you really feel GOOD about yourself after you got your "something for nothing"?

Sunday, October 16, 2005

7 Caban (reflection)

12.19.12.12.17 7 Caban 15 Yax

Caban, the quake, the sudden changes. The incense carrying our prayers (and offering) to the gods.

Make an offering today. Decide what it is you really want. The intention days are coming and if you want next Tzolkin's manifestations to go well, you have to start setting your intent NOW.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

6 Cib (reflection)

12.19.12.12.16 6 Cib 14 Yax

Cib, the vulture, the karmic cleanser. I love how it comes right on the heels of Men, the accumulation of stuff! Such a lovely flow.

So you know what to do. Having contemplated what you have yesterday, today think of what you can dispose of, re-gift, find new homes for.

Friday, October 14, 2005

5 Men (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.15 5 Men 13 Yax

Men-accumulated wisdom/knowledge/objects. It's also the akashic records.

So today we reflect on everything we've ever done, because that's what the akashic records are. If that proves too daunting, just reflect on what you collect and whether it serves you (or you are using it to serve humanity).

Thursday, October 13, 2005

4 Ix (reflection)

12.19.12.12.14 4 Ix 12 Yax

Hello Ix, the favorite of everyone who plays with Mayan Oracle cards! The beautiful swirl of rainbow earth energy on the card is truly beautiful.

So today we reflect on the natural energies available to us. The power of the sun, moon, stars, earth, tides...not just for magical use, but for traditional energy sources as well. Or should I say non-traditional? Although oil and oil-based products are also natural, the problem is that we're running out. We must switch! I want a hybrid SUV--I am working to manifest the money to pay off my existing (scary) bills and so I can think about getting one.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

3 Ben (reflection)

12.19.12.12.13 3 Ben 11 Yax

Ben is the pathfinder, the trail blazer (the SUV name). Clearly today we must reflect upon forging new ways (thinking back on yesterday's musings on our life path!), and how doing so can help those who follow us.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

2 Eb (reflection)

12.19.12.12.12 2 Eb 10 Yax

Eb, the path, and the karmic grass which grows beside it and holds us back.

Obvious what we need to reflect upon today--what is tying our hands? (nice metaphor huh)
keeping us from action, from moving forward? And just what is our path anyway?

Monday, October 10, 2005

1 Chuen (reflection)

12.19.12.12.11 1 Chuen 9 Yax

Chuen is the monkey, the trickster, creative urges, thinking outside the box, your inner child.

So today we reflect on new ways to do things, new paths to follow, and ways to make ourselves laugh, silly games to indulge our inner child with.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

fell down

Yesterday I was going grocery shopping, because it was our 12th anniversay, and I was making a special dinner. Somehow I managed to fall down the steps and land on my back on the concrete sideway and I'm pretty sure I broke my tailbone. It was pouring rain at the time and I was sprawled on my back, all wet, crying, unable to get up. It was pretty horrible.
It hurts to sit, stand, walk, bend over, or move at all. My butt is bruised.
I am trying not to dwell on the pain but it's always there.

13 Oc (reflection & center)

12.19.12.12.10 13 Oc 8 Yax

Welcome to the exact center of the calendar! The pendulum swings from incoming energies to outgoing energies, from listening to talking.

Oc is your loyal companion (like the heros of Lord of the Rings), always there for you, your spirit guide, your guardian angel. 13 is the highest number, so that influence will reallly be felt today. It's also possible that YOU can be some else's angel, even if just for a moment. And that's what we can reflect on today: who are our angels, and who are we angels to?

Saturday, October 08, 2005

12 Muluc (reflection)

12.19.12.12.9 12 Muluc 7 Yax

Muluc is water, emotion, trust, the moon. One of the harder days to interpet (it's easier when it comes up in a card spread). So what do we reflect on? We can look at the reliablity of the moon and how it always comes back and see that everything comes in cycles great & small (like this very Tzolkin!), and trust that everything will come around again.

Friday, October 07, 2005

11 Lamat (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.8 11 Lamat 6 Yax

Lamat is self-indulgence & taking care of yourself first. (It can tip into selfishness, or what I call "drunkeness and promiscuity".) It is also related to astrology (since Lamat is the star, the planet Venus) and therefore to all kinds of things like tarot cards, palm reading (and of course the Mayan Oracle cards, which are what I read).

So today's a day to reflect on how you can better take care of yourself, and even the ways that you can get advice on how to do so.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

10 Manik (reflection)

12.19.12.12.7 10 Manik 5 Yax

10 Manik. Getting into high energy (manic energy, haha, bad pun). Manik is cooperation with others, helping others (helping hand). It's also being a tool of the gods & feeling used.

Obviously what we need to reflect on is: are we helping others? Are we being manipulated by forces beyond our control (not just spiritual, but at work and in relationships)?

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

9 Cimi (reflection)

12.19.12.12.6 9 Cimi 4 Yax

9 Cimi--change, change, change. Getting past the balanced type of change and heading toward the bigger ones.

So what to reflect upon today? Duh--what to change? What is changing? Of course, at its base, every daysign is about change, isn't it?

I have one faithful reader (thank you) but I was hoping to have more after all these months. Apparently I am the only freak out there who really loves this stuff.

Oh well. I guess I'll soldier on. Someday this might have meaning to someone. I like doing it.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I might be crazy but I think I saw Viggo Mortensen at the Durham Fair

Not last weekend but the weekend before that, I went to the Durham Fair with my parents and my mom's best friend. We were sitting outside the commercial building right before we went home (so it was maybe 6:15 p.m.) and this guy comes limping toward us. I noticed him from about 20 feet away because he had SUCH a limp. And since I was looking at him anyway, I kept looking. And my first thought was that he looked EXACTLY like Viggo Mortensen. [I won't mention how many times I went to see Return of the King in the theater (5) or how many times I've watched it on DVD since then (uncounted-at least 20) plus the other 2. So I know what he looks like.]

So this poor schmuck is gimping toward me, with this gorgeous chiseled face and this horrible limp, and I have a moment of pity for him. But as he came closer, my only thought was that it WAS Viggo with a fake limp. I had no idea what to say. I just watched him limp by, and he looked right at me and I smiled and he smiled back. And it was totally him, I swear it.

My husband says that I am insane and it wasn't Viggo. (He wasn't there, BTW.) He said what the hell would Viggo Mortensen be doing at the Durham Fair? Why would he be in Connecticut on a Friday night at all?

I didn't tell anyone (until now). But then that Monday night, he was the guest on The Daily Show, which is right in NYC (2 hours away). And his hair was just like I saw it that Friday. Same color/style/cut. And anyone who's a fan of his knows he changes his hair color & style often.

A couple of years ago there was an article in some magazine (Vogue? I threw it away recently, damnit) and Viggo was interviewed IN CONNECTICUT at the Thimble Islands (in Branford--only a few minutes from Durham).

And the final clincher. On Sunday we went to see A History of Violence, Viggo's new movie. In one part he has a hurt foot and he's running, and IT WAS THE SAME LIMP.

And of course, we all know how Viggo likes horses--he bought Brego, his horse from LOTR and he also bought Hidalgo, from that movie. And the Durham Fair is the biggest fair in Connecticut, including horses and such things.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

selfish or self first?

I feel like I don't want to do anything for anyone anymore.
No hits on this blog or my other two blogs, or on my website.
No nibbles on any of my classes. Even the people who have taken classes and want to advance have been blowing me off or jerking me around.
People say that I have so much knowledge that needs to be shared. But when I offer to share it, no one shows up.
I decided last week to end my monthly Lightworker meetings. No one's been coming lately. And no one in my group made a protest when I made the announcement. Wehn I asked for help to keep the meetings going, only 1 person volunteered and it was for a very small job. My best friend and I started the group years ago but when she had her baby she lost interest and it all fell on me. She doesn't even come to every meeting anymore. I've changed the format, changed the night, no one cares. So that's done.
Right now I don't even know if I'm going to offer any pre-scheduled classes next year. I don't want to. It's such waste of my time to get all hyped up and get no responses.

8 Chicchan (reflection) & Happy Birthday to my beloved 7 Flower

12.19.12.12.5 8 Chicchan 3 Yax

Today is the Celebration day for Chicchan, which is kundalini energy and lower chakra energy. So it's obvious what we are supposed to reflect upon today. Have you been neglecting your lower chakras, ignoring your survival instincts and your body's needs and instead concentrating on your upper chakras and spiritual pursuits? I recently moved my attention to those lower chakras, dispensed temporarily with my weekly therapy and instead am doing 5 hours a week in the gym. Wow. What a difference.

Today's my best friend's baby's first (Julian) birthday (Mayan Birthday 7 Ahau). The energy of 8 Chicchan will guide her next year. As a baby, she can't do much about sex but we can work with her physically, maybe teach her some yoga or tai-chi or chi-gung.

Monday, October 03, 2005

7 Kan (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.4 7 Kan 2 Yax

7-is the balanced center & Kan is the muse, the seed, the lizard.

And we are in the center days, the reflection days. Today we reflect upon the little hints we are given by the universe. Do you follow up, do you try things out? Do you ever play "what if"? What if you left for work 5 minutes early and took the back road past the pond full of swans? Wouldn't that enrich your day more than driving a mile a minute on the highway? And yes, I have such a pond near where I work! (Lucky me.)

Sunday, October 02, 2005

6 Akbal (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.3 6 Akbal 1 Yax

Akbal is about the coccoon, the place where you feel safe to change, and also about the secrets you hide deep inside. Are those secrets festering and bubbling forth in your life? Is there really any place where you feel utterly safe and protected? Are you too scared to truly be yourself anywhere, with anyone?

Saturday, October 01, 2005

5 Ik Reflection day & welcome Yax

12.19.12.12.2 5 Ik 0 Yax

I believe Yax means the center, and it does match up nicely with this Tzolkin, since we're in the Center/Reflection days right now.

Ik is communication. Think about your communication skills. Is it easy for you to tell people what you want; do they hear what you say and understand what you mean? Do you really listen to other people or just skip over their feelings and return to your own agenda?

Friday, September 30, 2005

4 Imix (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.1 4 Imix 19 Chen

We've now entered 20 days of reflection & intropsection, of living in the Now. Maybe what you manifested during that recent streak of portals isn't really what you wanted? Never fear, for there' are 26 more portal days, Intention days, when you set your intent for manifestation, coming up on the other side of these Reflection days.

4 Imix is a day to be grounded to the Earth Mother, to think about how your life impacts the Earth, and how the smallest Earth changes (butterfly theory) impact yours. Or large changes--think of the recent 2 hurricanes and how they impacted gas prices, which impacts spending on other levels.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

3 Ahau burner

12.19.12.12.0 3 Ahau 18 Chen

Oh happy burner day! It's also the last day before the central spine of the Tzolkin, those 20 days of reflection/introspection.

Ahau is of course the Lord Flower, the highest & best one can aspire to. And 3 is a mild number, slightly off balance. Maybe you need to push yourself just a little, for a small goal. Not to lose 100 lbs but to lose 10 lbs. Or 10% of your body weight. (If you lose 10% each time, it becomes easier and easier. If you start out at 250, you need to lose 25 lbs. When you get to 225, you only need to lose 22 lbs. When you get to 203, you only need to lose 20 lbs. See? It's all relative.)

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

2 Cauac & 9/11

12.19.12.11.19 2 Cauac 17 Chen

Ah, 2 Cauac-gentle rain. Supposed to be blessings and gifts from above, but today it's just making me feel sad. For some reason on the way to work I was thinking about 9/11. I guess I'll tell my story of "where I was" since for whatever reason it's right at the front of my mind today.

I was at work, in my cube, when one of the engineers came by to say a plane had hit the World Trade Center. It was right around 9:00 a.m. We just all thought it was a terrible accident. I remember trying to log onto CNN.com or any news site and not being able to due to high traffic, and finally installing AOL against all company rules and using their news, only to find that a 2nd plane had hit and then it was clear that this was not an accident, it was an attack. I don't remember how much later we heard about the other 2 planes. I know by 10:30 the whole company (over 100 people) was in the cafeteria. The security officer had dragged in a TV and everyone watched the first tower fall live on TV. My boss, a big burly guy, was crying. It was awful. I went back to my cube and was emailing my vendors. One of the vendors, in Massachusetts, had another branch in Long Island and the people in LI were in their parking lot watching the towers burn. I don't remember the rest of the day at work. I know nobody did any work. Our vendors weren't working and neither were our customers. A lot of people just went home. It was a Tuesday, which was when my husband gamed (played AD&D) with his friends out in the garage. I sat inside, glued to CNN, watching that damn plane hit the tower over and over, watching the footage of people jumping from the windows so they didn't burn to death, watching the towers fall, watching the Pentagon burn, until I had worked myself into hysterics. I was making dream catchers and I looked down at them and said "I can't sell these, what kind of energy am I putting into them?" That was when I became a CNN.com addict (I still go there at least once a day).

I did not watch any of the shows that were on a few weeks ago. I feel like it's too soon. I didn't know anyone who died there (but I know people who knew people) and I still feel it's too soon. I know the media swore they would never show that horrible footage again, and I know that's a lie. I never want to see it again. I can't imagine how those people who lost family members must feel. I read an interview with a girl whose father died in the towers, and she said watching the plane hit the towers for her was seeing her father die over and over on TV and that she couldn't read anything, couldn't watch TV, without seeing her dad die.

What a depressing post. I'm sorry. But I needed to get it out of me.

The big question isn't, did Bin Laden do this? or did Saddam Hussien do this? But does it give us the right to go to Iraq and kill people? Aren't we sinking to their level? Aren't we proving their point on how horrible America is, and how we think we're the greatest?

I guess I got to this point because I was thinking how you never know when it's the last time you'll see someone. A good friend of mine has a husband in the Army and she's pretty sure that after he gets elevated to Major next year he's getting deployed, and she has no idea where she'll be living when that happens. I saw her in August, but I might never see her again--his next post probably won't be within easy driving distance. I hate that we have to be the world police.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

1 Etznab

12.19.12.11.18 1 Etznab 16 Chen

Back down to the lovely number 1. And what should we start today? Etznab (flint knife) is about balance, and sacrifice, and energy exchange. (After all, isn't that what a sacrifice is about? Energy exchange.) We should look to be fair in our dealings with others and make sure we are compensated for what we do. Ask for a raise (I should take my own advice!). Say no to babysitting others' kids for free. You know what you need to do.

Monday, September 26, 2005

13 Caban

12.19.12.11.17 13 Caban 15 Chen

13 Caban-the ultimate shake-em-up day. And it's my PT2 (Physical therapist/personal trainer)'s Mayan birthday today. She has certainly shaken ME up. That's her role in the world.
Do you pray? Pray your ass off today. (Does that work? Oh, Feathered Serpent, who I adore, I thank you for all your blessings, and I request that you make my ass smaller. In return I will burn copal for you to enjoy.)
waiting...waiting...waiting...
okay, my butt's the same size. That didn't work, did it? Maybe it's a delayed reaction.
If you don't pray, then be a human angel and touch someone else's life in positive way to affect a change.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

12 Cib

12.19.12.11.16 12 Cib 14 Chen

Manifestation days are over! And Cib arrives, right on time to clean up those things you manifested that you didn't really think through. "May you get everything you ask for, and everything you deserve." Could be curse or a blessing--how do YOU take it?
12 Cib, a good day for cleaning. People in the areas hit by the hurricanes need your unwanted stuff. Clean out your closets and make a Salvation Army or Goodwill run. You'll feel better.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

11 Men Manifestation/burner

12.19.12.11.15 11 Men 13 Chen manifestation portal/burner

This is it, the last manifestation portal of this half of this Tzolkin. Not that you can't expect anything to come to you for the next 140 days...just that there won't be scheduled times to expect things! And it's also a burner day--oh, another hurricane hitting? Imagine that.

My friend in Houston thankfully came through Rita safely. He wasn't able to evacuate due to lack of gas. His wife is due with their 3d son in 6 weeks and I'm sure trying to evacuate with a heavily pregnant woman, two toddlers and assorted cats would have been a nightmare. He called me as soon as his power came back on--they were fine, their house is fine, everything's fine, except there's still no gas in Houston. Nice.

What can you expect to manifest today? Wisdom. Discernment. (The two hallmarks of Men). 11 is also a master number, so mastery of discernment might be something to look for.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Happy 10 Ix & Manifestation Portal

12.19.12.11.14 10 Ix 12 Chen

10 Ix: high energy from natural forces--hmm, and what's going on? A hurricane, a smash-em-up good-time old-fashioned howler who even has an old-fashioned name: Rita.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Happy 9 Ben Manifestation Portal & fall Equinox

12.19.12.11.13 9 Ben 11 Chen

Tonight's the fall equinox, the time when day and night are in balance, and so should we too be in balance (moderation) in all things.

9 Ben tells us we should try new things and teach others about our successes and failures.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Happy 8 Eb Manifestation Portal

12.19.12.11.12 8 Eb 10 Chen

It's the celebration day for Eb--the path, the road, karmic ties. And what path are we all focused on right now? Rita, the makes-Katrina-look-like-kids-playing-in-a-puddle storm, heading toward Texas and brushing by poor sodden NOLA.

Why is it that only pagans can see how pissed off Mother Earth is at us? The Christian Conservatives blame homosexuality. No, Mother Earth LOVES homosexuality. Homosexuals don't reproduce. It's not homosexuals who are overpopulating the world. It's Christian conservatives who don't believe in birth control of any sort, or abortion, or even the morning-after pill for rape victims. They are all about reproduction--more people, more to carry on their agenda, who cares if there's too many people here already, and not enough land or food or clean water for everyone, just pump out more kids.

It makes me sick. If I was Mother Earth I'd be shaking even harder than she is.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Happy 7 Chuen (Manifestation portal)

12.19.12.11.11 7 Chuen 9 Chen

Lat night I did a fall equinox ritual, and several people complimented me on my recent article in The Door Opener, which is a local new-age publication. That was nice to hear. I keep forgetting it's in there!

Today's 7 Monkey. (Aside: I recently did my Chinese Horoscope for year, month, day, hour and minute, and I was monkey in all but 1, where I was cat/rabbit. I think it was hour. I thought I was making a mistake so I did a couple more for other people, and I was doing it right. I am a freak, I guess. ) So I really want to celebrate that monkey energy today, even though the "official" monkey celebration day (8 Monkey) isn't for 40 days. Monkeys are of course, all about creavity and pranks and silliness, and inner child stuff. It's raining. I want to play in puddles.

Monday, September 19, 2005

6 Oc Manifestation Portal

12.19.12.11.10 6 Oc 8 Chen

20 days from center of Tzolkin!

The story Gary Jennings tells in Aztec about dogs and the underworld is very interesting. He says not to pick a white dog: a white won't help you because it won't want to get dirty. And don't pick a black dog: a black dog is wiling to help, but you'll lose it in the dark. Pick a medium-colored dog (jacinth, he calls it), a red-gold dog (I always think of my ex-boyfriend's chow), which won't mind gettting dirty and won't get lost in the blackness.

And here we are in a dog day, fast approaching the center, and in the center of these manifestation days. Are you a vain white dog who won't help? Or a helpful black dog who gets lost in the confusion? Or are you the not-as-pretty medium dog, the all-purpose dog?

What do you want to be?

Sunday, September 18, 2005

5 Muluc (Manifestation Portal)

12.19.12.11.9 5 Muluc 7 Chen

Muluc-water, rain, the moon, and emotions, especially trust. At level 5, we're starting to gain energy, feel better. But when our emotions start running high, that's not always a good thing. Look for what gets stirred to the surface--look at what floats by the window and then sinks again. Do you really want it there, cluttering up your mind?

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Happy 4 Lamat (manifestation portal)

12.19.12.11.8 4 Lamat 6 Chen

Okay, we're getting deep into this long string of manifestation days. Are you feeling the love? Or did you not properly prepare during the last days of the last Tzolkin for what you would recieve now? It's also Mabon (Fall Equinox) which is all about harvest & gratitude, a perfect time to be in this energy.

Lamat--astrology, Venus, Quetzalcoatl, selfish, self-indulgence. Get a mini-reading, or practice with your friends. Treat yourself to something little & fun--a manicure, a haircut, a delicious meal. Whatever makes you feel loved.

4: low energy, but with its own form of balance. Probably safe today to be indulgent with no chance of going overboard.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Happy 3 Manik (manifestation portal)

12.19.12.11.7 3 Manik 5 Chen

Manik, the spirit of cooperation. That comes from both the deer (Aztec) and the hand (Mayan)--the hand extended to help, or to grab, or to manipulate. Today is low energy, only 3, doesn't feel like manipulation to me.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Happy 2 Cimi (manifestation portal)

12.19.12.11.6 2 Cimi 4 Chen

The first day in a string of manifestation portals. These are the LAST manifestation days of this Tzolkin so grab everything you can! The next portal days (after this glut) will be intention days.

And, ironically, this morning it rained after something like 12 days without rain here. I was in bed, thinking that I never did water our new grass seed yesterday (it's just starting to sprout like little baby green hair) and feeling faintly guilty, and the sky opened up and rain came pouring down (and of course my sunroof was open). Rain represents energy, and blessings from the gods, and I take that as a good sign on this first in a string of manifestation portal days.

And we can't neglect Cimi just because it's only a two. Cimi is changing from one state to another--a dry landscape to a wet one, for instance. A two Cimi means a minor change, or even a resistance to change.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Happy 1 Chicchan

12.19.12.11.5 1 Chicchan 3 Chen

The little baby One Snake comes creeping into our lives...
One of course makes us all want to start all kinds of things. Today would be a good day to start some kind of physical energy work program--yoga, ti chi, chi gung (pick a spelling). Something that moves your body AND your energy.

Chicchan is of course the little ball of energy sleeping in our spines (unless he's already awoken and roared up your back into your brain, making the world shiny and new). Chicchan is also the first and second chakras, sexual energy, creative energy. So go for it!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Happy 13 Kan

12.19.12.11.4 13 Kan 2 Chen

Are we at 13 again already? Seems like just yesterday...anyway....we're in that lovely Lizard energy today, maxed out. Lizards, sly sexuality, planting seeds, the Muse. Definately a great day to be inspired, but the problem may be that you become so inspired by so many thing that you can't pick just one!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Happ 12 Akbal

12.19.12.11.3 12 Akbal 1 Chen

Yay Akbal! Love to be back in my native energy again, even if it's just for a day. And after Katrina and the waves (reference to obscure 80's band, for those who missed it) and all the 9/11 hype this weekend, we all need a lovely snuggly coccoon to crawl into and just BE.

Friends of mine are at a 10 day silent meditation retreat. For 10 days, no talking, no reading, no writing, no email/internet/phone, no moving during the day, only the sparest of vegatarian meals. The ultimate Akbal coccoon (if only it was dark too). I couldn't do it. I need to talk and write and I need to MOVE.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Happy 11 Ik & Welcome Chen

12.19.12.11.2 11 Ik 0 Chen

I have a list at work of what each month means, and of course I'm posting from home. Oh well.

11 Ik-Wind, grounding, breath of the divine, tree of life, communication. It's one of the most complex daysigns. And it's interesting that it's the anniversary of 9/11 and the first year there were shows about it (too soon, IMHO, but I think it happened this way because it's a Sunday). A lot of shows, on a lot of networks, juxtaposed with relief efforts for Katrina. I'd say this is a communication day. People are NOT grounded, and if God is speaking through anyone those people aren't passing it on.

I got an email today, as part of a Yahoo group, which said that Army engineers have found traces of black powder on the levies and that they were blown up. The sources were all "anonymous" the same idiots who say our government hijacked those planes on 9/11 and blew up the WTC towers on purpose. Must we use our communication skills to spread FEAR?

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Happy 10 Imix

12.19.12.11.1 10 Imix 19 Mol

10 Imix...according to one person's interpertation of the Tzolkin, my birthday falls on 10 Imix. (It doesn't; that person is a crackpot. And no, I won't say who it is.) Imix is Mother Earth, her nurturing, loving energy, and also her rage and hatred of us, who are parasites on her body and most of whom don't acknowledge her or care. Harsh, yes, but true. As much as disasters like Katrina break my heart, I know they are just Gaia swatting her tail at some annoying flies.

The higher energy days of Imix don't seem to be the loving ones. They seem to be the angry ones.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Happy 9 Ahau

12.19.12.11.0 9 Ahau 18 Mol

Good morning, and welcome to day 100 of this Tzolkin. We're not quite halfway through, but it's certainly flying by, isn't it?

Ahau, the lord flower, the highest & best, the ultimate that you can achieve, and at a slightly high level of 9...a good day to push yourself, to go just a little farther than you thought you could, to do a little better, to try a little harder.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Happy 8 Cauac

12.19.12.10.19 8 Cauac 17 Mol

Cauac-rainstorms, blessings from above. I need some blessings today, so let that rain fall on me! No rain is actually scheduled (in my area at least), so we can only hope for the blessing part, right?
It's also an 8 day, a day of celebrating. How can we celebrate Cauac? I have a rain stick, I could spend some time in meditation with its cool smooth sound. Or sit under a sprinkler set to simulate rain falling. (A little cold for that here, but could be nice in other areas.) I could shower blessings on other people. Every person I see today, I could send away with some kind of benediction--not like I'm the Pope (haha--even if I wasn't a pagan female, can you see them electing an AMERICAN pope? Are there even any American cardinals?)--not saying it out loud or putting a cross on people's foreheads, just thinking good thoughts at them. If you're a Reiki person, use the mental/emotional sign and send it on its way with some lovely affirmations.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Happy 7 Etznab

12.19.12.10.18 7 Etznab 16 Mol

Etznab is the hall of mirrors, the edge of the knife, sacrifice, energy exchange, and balance. Since today's a seven day of balance, to me that signifies balance and fairness in all things. Give others what they deserve and look to earn what you deserve.

fish dream

So, probably based on the long amount of time I spent staring at bowls and bowls of bettas, I had a fish dream. In the dream I had 3 tanks, I think 10 gallon ones, lined up on the floor, and all 3 were filled with baby bettas which looked kinda like fancy guppies (at least in size). So many baby bettas that they were jumping out of the tanks, probably a hundred in each tank or more. Also I found mixed in with the baby bettas some cichlids and a fresh water seahorse (is there such a thing?). Of course the nasty cichlids (carnivorous, mean rotten fish--I got bit by one once when I worked at a pet store) were eating the baby bettas so even though I had too many bettas I isolated the cichlids (and that's when I found the seahorse). For some reason I decided that Betta Boy III had had a mouthful of eggs and he spewed them out when I got him home. (I have no idea if betta males even hold eggs in their mouths. I know they build bubble nests.) I was thinking about how many betta bowls I'd have to buy and wondering if the pet store would buy any of the babies.

There was more in the dream, about a fire, and a house (house was not on fire--some kind of gypsy wagon type thing was), and someone famous but I can't remember who, and seeing a guy who I was in a play with in high school in a movie. He looked like the famous person; it was a mistaken identity scene. Or maybe it wasn't a movie, maybe I was watching the filming. That part is all confused. Maybe it was a different dream. I don't think I was actually in that one, not sure.

new fish

I got a new betta, a red one since we've had bad luck with purple and blue ones. Stupid, I know. He is very small. I hope that means he's a baby and will get bigger. He's like half the size of Betta Boy II. I also picked up a couple more albino corydoras. I was talking to the guy who was waiting patiently for me a to pick a betta (they are all so pretty! Why won't they get along? Imagine a 55 gallon tank filled with bettas!) about the problem I have with my corys getting fin rot and having their tails fall off. He showed me some different medicine although he said the medicine I have should work.
So I get home, put the two bags into the tank to float and go about my business. I come back in, notice for the first time the miniature size of Betta Boy III, and then notice that one of the corys is ALREADY missing his tail. Now I know gas is $3.50 a gallon and the fish were buy one get one free but it's the POINT. I drove back up there and got a new fish.
I also picked up something to put into the tank, some kind of good bacteria, that's supposed to lesson the shock to the tank of putting in new fish and also for water changes. (Did one of those yesterday too.)

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Happy 6 Caban

12.19.12.10.17 6 Caban 15 Mol

Caban-earthquakes, incense. Yesterday my grandmother actually came over (I know! Unbelievable.) and we were all talking about Katrina (my parents were over too) and she said that her mother said that this world would end in fire. I told her earthquakes, but what do I know, I'm a pagan.

So in 2001 FEMA supposedly put out a report saying the 3 things that would strain them the most. Those things were: a terrorist attack in NYC, the levee breaking and flooding NOLA, and a major earthquake in LA. My brother-in-law just moved to LA and I made a joke to my husband that he should move back home. I can't help but think about earthquakes today. It's like a triad isn't it? Even if you look at the locations on a map. I do so love things to be neatly tied up. Not that I want an earthquake to happen...but then again there's still too many people on this earth. Why can't people stop procreating?! I wish that everyone was born sterile and you'd have to get an operation to get pregnant instead of the other way around. So many unwanted babies, so many people straining the earth's resources. A good friend of mine says that humans are going to dumb themselves into oblivian in a few generations, because the intelligent people (like me) chose NOT to procreate and the stupid people have tons of kids because they just don't care.

another loss :(

Our (new) betta died yesterday. He had been getting fat, but his behavior hadn't changed, so I didn't think anything was wrong with him. I just cut down on his food a little. Sunday night my husband was looking at him and said that he looked kinda gray, and he did. So I went online and looked up the page on betta diseases, and it turns out he had a fatal, genetic disease called dropsy. I put him in a salted tank to make him more comfortable but he died the next day. I gave him a little funeral and buried him with all my other fish in the sacred cactus in the Circle.

He was a really cool fish. And I never even took a picture of him. :(

Monday, September 05, 2005

Happy 5 Cib Manifestation day

12.19.12.10.16 5 Cib 14 Mol

Another manifestation portal! They are just all over the place, huh? What can we manifest through Cib, the vulture, the karmic cleanser? Well, we can clean up our environment. Yesterday I suggested you clean out your closets and pantry for donation. Did you? I know you didn't. Go do that today. (And no, I haven't done it either, but I did buy 3 bags of baby food and soup and stuff at Walmart yesterday and drop them at the Lions Club truck.)

Five energy is getting up there. There's enough energy today that you should be able to get off the couch and do something. I know it's a holiday and it's probably hot out where you are, but still, think of how hot it is down South, and they have lost everything. And when's the last time you wore those pants? Give them up.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Happy 4 Men/Burner

12.19.12.10.15 4 Men 13 Mol

Burner day! Seems like it's been so long since we had one. Don't have to look too far to see what this one influenced; just look at Mississippi and Louisana.

Men, is of course the Eagle of Knowledge, the trivial-pursuit mind, the Akashic records. Four is a good solid day, not a lot of energy, but things can still happen. A good day to use all that burner energy to search your own akashic records and see how your past influences your present.

Also a good day to go through your closets and pantry and donate unwanted items to Katrina's victims.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Happy 3 Ix

12.19.12.10.14 3 Ix 12 Mol

Ah, lovely Ix, the jaguar shaman. I just love Ix days. There's always that sense that everything I want and need (and things I don't even know about) are hovering right there, just beyond the edge of my grasp, and if I could just extend myself the right way, I'd be able to grab them. Perhaps it goes back to yesterday's pathfinder/flexiblity thing--maybe that's what that manifestation portal opened--a possibility of change.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Happy 2 Ben manifestation day

12.19.12.10.13 2 Ben 11 Mol

Ben is the reed and the pathfinder, and two is a lovely little quiet number; you'd say "nothing much is going on here" but you'd be wrong, because it's a manifestation day. So what can we manifest through the lens of Gentle Ben #2?

Well, the reed is flexibility (also always makes me think of snorkeling & cartoons where characters hid underwater breathing through reeds) and the pathfinder is also flexible (to go where no one has gone before) so I'd say what would come through today will be tempered strongly by those things. It will be something you haven't done before; maybe no one has. And it won't be difficult (the 2) but it won't be easy either.

Enjoy!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

dragon pictures from Tibet















These are probably bogus and I'll be eating my words in a few days, but here's the link to the original story and here's the story reproduced for when the link dies, along with both pictures. One picture appears to be an enlargement of the bottom left corner of the other.


Dragons in the Tibet Sky
The Epoch Times
Aug 07, 2005

Above the Himalayas. (www.dajiyuan.com) (note: link is to a chinese-language site)

A photo of two peculiar dragon-shaped objects taken from a plane flying over Tibet’s Himalayas piqued many users’ interest when displayed on a Chinese website. The photographer is an amateur.

On June 22, 2004, the photographer went to Tibet’s Amdo region to attend the Qinghai-to-Xizang Railroad laying ceremony, and then took a plane from Lhasa to fly back inland. When flying over the Himalayas, he accidentally caught these two "dragons" in a picture that he took. He called these two objects "the Tibet dragons."

Looking at the photo, these two objects appear to have the characteristics of crawling creatures: The bodies seem to be covered by scales, the backs have spine-like protuberances, and also they have gradually thinning rear ends. Although the photo caught only a portion of the entire scene, it was sufficient to create the appearance of two gigantic dragons flying in the clouds.

This photo, shown on some websites such as post.baidu.com and other forums, aroused the website visitors’ curiosity. One person commented, “No wonder that China is the homeland of the dragon! Nature is truly mysterious and powerful, it can always produce spectacular sights beyond people's expectations.”

“Is it really true? Is it possible there is an ancient civilization that we don’t know about preserved in places that are sparsely populated?”

“It really looks like the dragons in fables, and I really hope it is.”

Certainly, most website visitors hoped that someone could confirm the authenticity of the dragons in the photo.

In Chinese fairy tales, the dragon is a kind of rare heavenly creature. Fables say that it can conceal or reveal itself. It ascends to heaven in the spring breeze and dives and hides in deep water in the autumn wind. It can promote clouds and bring about rain. It also became the symbol of imperial authority later on; all emperors of previous dynasties self-designated as dragons, utensils were also decorated with dragons.

Culturally, the dragon is the Chinese ancestors' totem. Nearly all races in China had fables and stories with dragons as the main subject, such as dragon boat races, the dragon lantern dance to celebrate holidays, sacrificial offerings to the dragons to implore timely wind and rain for good crops.

Whether this kind of creature really exists is still an unsolved riddle. In the previous dynasties in China, there had been many documents recording eyewitness accounts of magical dragons. The most amazing events are the various "falling dragons," dragons that suddenly fell to the ground under peculiar circumstances, and were witnessed by many. A relatively recent tale occurred in the puppet Manchuria regime in August, 1944. A black dragon fell to the ground at the Chen Family’s Weizi Village, about 9.4 miles northwest of Zhaoyuan County, on the south shore of the Mudan River (the old name of a section of Songhua River) in Heilongjiang province. The black dragon was on the verge of death. The eyewitness said that this creature had a horn on its head, scales covering its body, and had a strong fishy smell that attracted numerous flies.

The records from previous dynasties also mentioned the connection between the emergence of these kinds of mysterious creatures, “dragons,” and the transition of dynasties on earth. The appearance of Tibet’s magical dragon invites our curiosity and imagination.

Happy 1 Eb

12.19.12.10.12 1 Eb 10 Mol

Ah, a sigh of relief as the ramped up energies of yesterday drain away into a lovely, soothing one. I always seen One days as days to just do nothing, to veg out, and let your mind & body relax from the increasing activity of the last few days.

Eb is the grass, the road, karmic ties. With nothing else going on, you might feel the slight tugs of your past and present as you move into the future. Is your karma a coccoon from which the new butterfly-like you will emerge soon? Or is it bondage, holding you back? You decide.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Happy 13 Chuen

12.19.12.10.11 13 Chuen 9 Mol

It's the ultimate highest-energy Chuen day! Raw inchoate creativity abounds, but what will you DO with it? It's not inspiration, it's not hard work, it's just the desire to create anything. Kind of like in Close Encounters when the people were making mountains out of mashed potatoes and they didn't know why.

Katrina

I'm behind on my daykeeping again. I could list excuses, but I haven't really got any. Laziness.

I've been consumed with reports about Katrina's destruction of Lousiana and Mississippi. I know that all this negatively can only affect me negatively, but I can't help watching. It's like just after 9/11 when I first got addicted to CNN.com. I was at my mom's house yesterday and they were showing an interview on the weather channel with an old man whose wife had fallen off their roof and been swept away. He was saying "I can't find her, I can't find my wife." The reporter said, "you can't find your wife?" and he said "I can't find her body" and you could hear the reporter start crying.

I've been to New Orleans twice. The zoo has a bubble filled with Australian birds, with lots of lorikeets. I remember being in that bubble with my friend Dean, just crying, looking at the red lories, because of course they all looked exactly like Scarlett, my red lory who died in 1994. (Lance's first mate; Gwennie who died 2 weeks ago was his 2nd mate.) I hope that they were able to move the birds into a secure location. So far I've only heard that the flamingos were all killed. I adore flamingos, but parrots (especially a bubble filled with lories) are so close to my heart. I have not heard anything about the aquarium, which is beautiful and is/was right on the shore of the Mississippi River, and also contains many parrots and some bald eagles and other wildlife.

It breaks my heart what is going on down there, and I haven't heard of any other countries sending aid. That totally pisses me off.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Happy 12 Oc

12.19.12.10.10 12 Oc 8 Mol

You're protected today--Oc is energy of guardians, spirit guides, angels, the dear departed to the West. This doesn't mean you can do stupid things, it just means that most likely, you'll be okay. Even though right now, it might seem bleak.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Happy 11 Muluc

12.19.12.10.9 11 Muluc 7 Mol

11 is a master number in numerology, but in this form of astrology, it's simply another over-the-topday. Muluc is all about trust, gates, water, and emotion. And of course, I'm writing this with hindsight, and looking at what destruction water wrought on New Orleans on this day. I guess we should be glad it wasn't 13 Muluc.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Happy 10 Lamat (Manifestation day)

12.19.12.10.8 10 Lamat 6 Mol

10 Lamat-the energy has just slipped from high-balanced to slightly over the top. You feel a great sense of entitlement--surely you DESERVE to have good things? And what else are credit cards for?

And the energy of manifestation coming through the energy of indulgence can produce some strange things. This may be one of those days where "be careful what you wish for" is more than just a saying!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Happy 9 Manik

12.19.12.10.7 9 Manik 5 Mol

Circle reopening today!

9 is still balanced, starting to lean toward excess. Manik is being a tool of the gods and cooperating. Today you might start to feel just the tiniest niggle (is that a word?) of resentment, of feeled USED, of things forcing their way through you instead of you allowing it to happen. Practice graceful acceptance--say "thank you" without any qualifiers to EVERY compliment. (Harder than it sounds.)

Friday, August 26, 2005

chupacabra caught!

This was on Rotten.com today. To me, the picture looks like a dead cat with no hair.

full text in case link goes away:

Farmer May Have Caught Legendary 'Chupacabra'
Mysterious Animal Kills Chickens, Turkeys


POSTED: 7:31 am PDT August 25, 2005
UPDATED: 7:47 am PDT August 25, 2005

COLEMAN, Texas -- A Texas farmer may have found what some would call a "chupacabra," a legendary animal known for sucking the blood out of goats.

Reggie Lagow set a trap last week after a number of his chickens and turkeys were killed.

What he found in his trap was a mix between a hairless dog, a rat and a kangaroo.

The mystery animal has been sent to Texas Parks and Wildlife in hopes of determining what it is.

Happy 8 Cimi & musings on Gwennie's death

12.19.12.10.6 8 Cimi 4 Mol

This is the celebration day for Cimi, Cimi #8. Cimi is of course change, tranformation, and even death. Having had 2 recent deaths in my household (Gwennie, and another albino cory), I wonder if I shouldn't do a little work around this subject today. Maybe put something in tomorrow's ritual (we are re-opening the Circle).

Lance (Gwennie's mate, and yes, they were Lancelot and Guinievere) and I have been spending what I call "kissy time" together--every day after work, I bring him into the living room and we watch TV (for some reason, it's always Return of the King) and make kissy noises at each other. It's only been a week or so since Gwennie left us and already his leg feathers are growing back. What was he trying to tell me by plucking his legs bald? Was he saying that Gwennie was sick? I thought about getting another Rainbow Lorikeet, an older one, to be Lance's friend, but I don't think I'm going to. I am going to try to switch Goober (Lance's 14 year old daughter) back and forth between Zeebo's cage (Lance's 12 year old son, who is insane) & Lance's cage. I am enjoying being Lance's "mate" but I know he hates being alone. He gets along okay with Goober, at least he had in the past. When he is done with his medicine I'm going to put them together and see how it goes.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Happy 7 Chicchan & manifestation portal

12.19.12.10.5 7 Chicchan 3 Mol

7 is of course perfect balance, not over, not under. Chicchan is serpent & kundalini energy, the energy of yoga and the earth. Obviously a good day to do yoga and energy work, meditation, anything working toward enlightenment.

Manifestation portal energy, as filtered through Chicchan, should bring in some good healing & enlightenment-type energies, maybe some "flashes" of insight (funny how our language tends toward light--even the cartoon image of the guy getting an idea with a lightbulb over his head).

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

revised name

I removed the "Order of the Feathered Serpent" stuff from the name of this blog and from the description. I haven't gotten a lesson in MONTHS nor gotten any response from my instructor. I am enjoying having this blog and doing the daykeeping so I am going to keep going, but on my terms.

Happy 6 Kan

12.19.12.10.4 6 Kan 2 Mol

I am finally back on track, doing today's daykeeping today, and not doing yesterday's (or last week's). I keep thinking about my sweet little Gwennie bird and the silly things she did, and I get so angry that my last memory is so ugly, of her rotting body. That is so wrong. I try to remember the twinkle she'd get in her eyes when she wanted to play and instead I remember that her eyes had sunken into her head. I know the bad memory will fade...it hasn't even been a week....but right now it still hurts. A lot.

Six-we are back into balance and moderation, no worrying about overkill or lack of energy. Kan is the lizard, the muse, the seed. Not many lizards up here in Connecticut to observe, but we can listen to the whispers of our muse. We can work on the seeds we've planted in the past, and allow them to grow.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Happy 5 Akbal

12.19.12.10.3 5 Akbal 1 Mol

5 Akbal...that means my Mayan birthday was 40 days ago. This summer has been flying by.

Five is just on the edge of balance, but it's an odd number so I see it as more of an arrow pointing toward six, or a person leaning over. Akbal is the darkness of the cave or butterfly coccoon. You won't be in the coccoon today, but you want to be in that darkness, healing & transforming.

otherworldly events

This might have been a dream, but I'm not sure.

In the middle of the night (it was still dark out) I woke up when a cat jumped on me. I don't know if you have a cat, or you've ever cat-sat someone else's, but when a strange cat jumps on you, you just "know" it's not your cat. And this wasn't either of my cats.

I could feel the blanket against my face and the sheets under my body, and it wasn't my blanket-it didn't feel right, didn't SMELL right. The sheets also felt different. I was aware that the bed was square, not rectangular. It had hangings on all 4 corners, which my bed doesn't have. The room felt a little larger also--not by much, maybe by a couple of feet (the room is long and narrow, it didn't feel so narrow).

The only explanation I could come up with is some sort of parallel dimension where just for a moment what the me in this world was doing was close to what another me was doing. I was sleeping upside down in the bed because I fell asleep watching The Daily Show (what else is new?) and so was my other self. (Although in a square bed, what is up and down might not be as important.)

More than once during the night, I woke in that strange bed with that strange cat. Other times I woke in my own bed with Nutter, my white cat, fussing around me.

What else was it? In between the waking ups in the strange bed, I had dreams. I don't feel like it was a dream.

It reminded me a little bit of this other strange thing that happens to me sometimes. I wake up and have a panic attack because I think I shouldn't be where I am, that I'm in a strange bed with a strange person, I am absolutely convinced of it. After a moment I realize that I'm in my own bed with my own husband of many years. Now I have to wonder if the other me doesn't sometimes wake up in MY world and maybe she panics, and then we switch.

I wonder if I can communicate with her.

Monday, August 22, 2005

sadness & catch-up

I'm behind on my posts. I've had a blow to my soul.

The gem show was great. I went for 2 days, Friday & Saturday. On Friday, I did find the crystal I had dreamed about. It's called Kyanite. I got a finger-sized piece for $30, my most expensive purchase. I also got a rainstick (always wanted one), and a lovely bowl carved out of fossil bone (for the altar). I bought $90 worth of angels for my friend's store (she couldn't come) and a nice tiger iron orb for another friend. Also got a great deal on some magnetic jewelry--paid less for completed pieces than for unstrung beads. Didn't buy much for resale cuz I still have all the stuff I bought last year.

I got to see my friend whose husband is in the Army. He's being relocated soon so who knows if/when I will see her again. He's going for officer training and then he is probably going to be deployed.

Sunday we went to Plymouth with my parents. My dad is a worry wart fussbudget OCD person. I know it's just the Alzheimer's amplifying his natural tendencies but it can be SO ANNOYING. He makes my fussy eating look like toleranance.

We went to Providencetown on the ferry (saw a 30' basking shark--to me it was just a big freaking shark fin, but the captain of the boat said it was a basking shark which are plankton eaters). Too crowded; didn't know it was Carnival week with a parade coming the next day. I wouldn't have gone if I had known. It was hot and crowded--too things I can do without. My father whined constantly. We got him some raspberry ice cream; it wasn't black raspberry ice cream (which is purple) it was regular raspberry which is pink, and he insisted it was strawberry due to the pinkness even though my mother ate it and said it was raspberry. He had a terrible time, hated the boat, hated everything. I bought myself a nice hat which fits my little head, and got a toy lobster for my friend's baby and a cool shell for my other friend who loves shells.

We went whale watching and saw 6 humpback whales and a minkey (spell?) whale. The whales were called....hmm..Soot, Barb, ack I can't remember now! I thought I got some good video with my digital camera but I wasn't doing it right, you aren't supposed to hold down the button, just click once to start and once to end.

My friend from Attleboro came up for lunch (the one I bought the angels for) and went walking on the beach with us at low tide. That was the only day the water was clear enough to snorkle, but snorkling isn't a companion activity unless everyone's doing it, so I didn't get to snorkle at all up there. My parents found some huge clam shells and a few sand dollars; we got lots and lots of cool rocks to finish the new garden edging. We also went to Plymouth Plantation one day.

My father worried constantly. Were we out of gas? Better fill up. (We just filled up last night). What about his baby (the cat)? His baby could be dead. He wanted to go home to his baby. Friday morning, the day we were leaving, he was up and ready go to at 6:00 a.m my mom said. To go home to his baby. We had to pick the cat up by noon or pay $25 extra (another day). We got there at 12:01 but they didn't charge the extra day.

My parents dropped us and our mound of luggage off and headed home with their cat. I went inside to see my own cats. Nutter fled from me as if I was a stranger (he's the original scardey cat). I checked the fish--all alive, suprise surprise--and headed into the bird room.

Ever since Scarlett died in 1994, I have counted birds. I counted 4, not 6. Lance and Gwennie's cage was empty.

My first thought--they escaped (they do that) and were in the baby cage. The baby cage (so called because when we have babies, they live in that cage once they have feathers) was empty. The cage doors were latched. I called because sometimes they are sleeping in the box, but no one came out. I pulled the box open. There was Lance, looking up at me, and next to him Gwennie, dead and decayed, her eyes gone, her neck back in rigor. I started screaming. My husband came running in. The person watching the birds had called THE NIGHT BEFORE and assured us all the animals were fine and alive. Clearly she had lied. I was hysterical. My husand had to net Lance because he wouldn't leave his mate's body. I wrapped her up and drove the 20 miles the bird vet, crying hysterically every time I saw the little bundle on the seat next to me. i was halfway there when my husband called to say Lance had diareha (I can't spell and right now I don't care). I continued on the vet and dropped off Gwennie for necropsy and cremation , and asked for medicine for Lance. They wanted to see him. I drove back home, grabbed him, drove back. They said they couldn't see him even though I had just made an appointment. I waited an hour and finally the vet said that he might have something wrong with his kidneys or liver (he's had liver problems before). His poop was funky too. He had lost 33 grams (133 last month, now 100) which is a huge amount.

A couple of hours later they called and said that Gwennie had an abnormal heart and liver (why that didn't show up on all the tests I had done on her 3 weeks before they couldn't explain) and that the metal they found her belly the month before (via xray) hadn't killed her because after all, it wasn't metal. It was small rocks, and she had already passed several of them.

The person who was watching my animals can't understand why I am angry at her.

There's a lesson in here somewhere.

Happy 4 Ik & welcome Mol

12.19.12.10.2 4 Ik 0 Mol

It's the seating of Mol today; Mol means water. Welcome!

Ik is wind. (Hmm, combine wind & water, what do you get? Hurricanes and 'tis the season. And of course you know that hurricanes are named after the Mayan god Hurakan, which I probably spelled wrong. There's a temple to him at Tullum and it looks like a building being blown down--and was built like that on purpose. Pretty cool.) And grounding, and communication. Four is low energy, but balanced, solid, square energy. (I guess I am partial to four because I was born on a four day.) It might take you a few minutes to get your point across today, but when you do, it will be solidly understood.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

happy 3 Imix

12.19.12.10.1 3 Imix 19 Yaxkin

Imix-carrying the world on your back, responsibility, taking care of others, trying not to meddle too much. 3 is a low number, it's also an off-balance number, a time of tilting things to see what happens when they aren't so much on track. Your tasks and goals may feel unstable; things you've relied on to keep your routine going might not go as planned today.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Happy 2 Ahau

12.19.12.10.0 2 Ahau 18 Yaxkin

Ahau-the highest and best you can aspire to, but with only 2 in front, it's a minor accomplishment you're looking at today. Not necessarily coming in 2nd instead of 1st, but maybe your 1st is a local or regional win, not a nationwide or worldwide contest.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Happy 1 Cauac and full moon

12.19.12.9.19 1 Cauac 17 Yaxkin

Isn't it lovely to shift from the ever-increasing energy levels of the higher numbers back into 1? I always feel like taking a nap and re-charging myself.

Cauac is the rainstorm, it's energy from the universe, and gifts from the gods. At a level one, these will be tiny gifts--a hummingbird outside your window, a good parking space, a green light when you're in a hurry. Doesn' t mean you shouldn't say thank you.

Full moon today! Do a little ritual, or just go outside right after sunset and watch it rise, giant and imposing. You know how the full moon looks HUGE when it comes up, and then seems to shrink? Well, it stays the same size. I know, I didn't believe it either. But check out this picture in the archives of NASA. I guess the explanation is, that when it's near the horizon, there are things to compare its size too, and as it rises those objects aren't near the moon anymore so we can't accurately judge its size.

Back from vacation late today!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Happy 13 Etznab

12.19.12.9.18 13 Etznab 16 Yaxkin

It's the highest level of Etznab we will live through in this Tzolkin. Etznab is about sacrifice, balance and energy exchange. Anything that's out of balance will simply be screaming at your sense of fairness today, and it's possible to overdo--overtip, overcompensate. If, like me, you're on a cleaning kick, today might not be a good day--you'll probably toss or give away things you'll regret later.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Happy 12 Caban and manifestation portal

12.19.12.9.17 12 Caban 15 Yaxkin

Wow, my aunt has been dead an entire year. Time really does fly as you get older. Many details about my aunt in my other blog.

12 Caban--the next to highest level of Caban energy, which is of course earthquakes and upheavals and prayers to the gods. Considering that we just had a burner day & are at the tail end of that energy, this could be an interesting day!

And what will Caban manifest for us? Obviously upheaval, but because Caban is also prayers, I venture to say that some of your requests to non-earthly entities may be granted. Throw some itza in; it can't hurt.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Happy 11 Cib

12.19.12.9.16 11 Cib 14 Yaxkin

Cib, the vulture, the karmic cleanser, the Mr Clean of the astral world. With level 11 energy, your cleansings (if you ask for them) will be swift. I've been cleaning my house lately, putting aside movies I haven't watched for years, CDs I haven't listened too, books I'll never read again (and didn't finish the first time), clothes that don't fit. The energy is amazing. I've only moved about 2 milk crates worth of stuff and I feel so different. Feng shui is obviously related to Cib.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Happy 9 Ix

12.19.12.9.14 9 Ix 12 Yaxkin

I've decided to do at least a few days in advance. I'm all packed and just waiting to be picked up in a couple of hours, but I also have a few errands to run (checks to cash, library books to return). What I can't do today, I will finish on Saturday.

9 Ix is the highest balanced day of the Earth energy. It's starting to tip toward the outrageous. If you aren't in control of your magical workings or your rituals, today's a day they could start to go off. Always plan them carefully! If you can't coordinate them with anything else, at least use the moon cycle as a guide. (Plus you have this handy daykeeping journal to refer to, and the whole point is that you can use this information also!)

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Happy 10 Men & Burner day

12.19.12.9.15 10 Men 13 Yaxkin

Burner day! Watch for things to happen which affect large segments of population, and remember that burner day energies seem to stretch for a day or so before and after (kind of like the full moon) so something may have happened yesterday (when I am actually writing this, since as you read I'm on vacation) or will happen tomorrow.

Men is the eagle, the wise one, the keeper of esoteric knowledge and objects, the person you want on your Trivial pursuit team. Today you have a little bit of the Men energy in you--you can recall things easier, learn strange facts. But since we're at a level 10 energy, your mind can be overwhelmed with minutia and useless knowlege, so be careful what you dump in. An open mind is not a trash can.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Happy 8 Ben

12.19.12.9.13 8 Ben 11 Yaxkin

Tomorrow I go away on vacation and I'll have no internet. I may post in advance, or afterward. If you don't see anything new, check back next Saturday.

It's the ultimate Ben day, a day to celebrate pathfinding, trail blazing (anything you might name an SUV after which is not related to a city in the Southwest!). Boldly go where no one has gone before, and if you can't do that (after all, if there's a road or trail, someone's been there before), go where YOU haven't gone before. Explore your town--do you really know where every road leads? Or explore your state if you live in a little one like I do.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Happy 7 Eb / Manifestation portal

12.19.12.9.12 7 Eb 10 Yaxkin

Eb-the road and the grass that grows beside it. And 7 is of course the perfect balance, a day to reflect upon your life path and its meanderings, which have taken you here so I could say hello! (Hello!). It might be a day to adjust your course...not that your path is ever wrong, but sometimes it could be more right.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Happy 6 Chuen

12.19.12.9.11 6 Chuen 9 Yaxkin

Chuen the monkey! Monkey, artist, trickster, thinker-outside-the-box. Good creativity today, appropriate to what's needed, nicely balanced.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Happy 5 Oc

12.19.12.9.10 5 Oc 8 Yaxkin

Hello Oc! Faithful dog friend, who guides us through the Underworld...I've been wanting a dog lately. My husband dislikes dogs and refuses to own one, so I've been working on my parents (well, my mom mostly) to get another mini daschund. My best friend actually asked me to take her dog, who is sweet and adores me, but she's too big (60 lbs) and I'd have to take her other dog and I don't like him. So I've been thinking alot about dogs, especially versus cats. I love my cats. I will always have cats. But when I say "food" to my cats, they just look at me. My daschund knew the words ride, car, food and a few others. My cats come when I make food noises (rattle the cabinet, bowl, fork, etc) but not when I say "Food." (Although my black cat does recognize the word "milk" when said in a certain tone of voice.)

Dogs are good. If you haven't got one, go visit a friend's dog, or take a walk in a park where there are lots of dogs to visit. If you have a dog, take him to the park!

Five energy is just beginning to balance. Because Oc can also signify your guardian angels, know that they are watching you.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

happy 4 muluc / manifestation portal

12.19.12.9.9 4 Muluc 7 Yaxkin

Muluc: water, emotion, gates/portals/trust. 4 Is low, square, grounded, starting to increase.
And today is a Muluc portal: a portal-portal. And yesterday was the 8/8 minor portal. Expect galactic energies to influence you.

Hogzilla

I watched part of a show yesterday on National Geographic Channel on Hogzilla. For those of you who haven't heard of Hogzilla:
Snopes.com version of Hogzilla story
National Geographic.com picture gallery of dead Hogzilla's grave
I am positive that the shot of the dead rotting carcass of Hogzilla with the cleaned-off Hogzilla skull next to it prompted part of my dead horse dream (see below). Hogzilla turned out to be part wild boar and part Hampshire pig.
I have to wonder about pigs. Supposedly, well-prepared human flesh tastes "just like pork" (the other-other white meat? Haven't you heard of "long pork"?). Heart valves from pigs work just fine in human bodies, and I think they might use other pig parts too. But monkeys are our closest relatives? I don't get it.
I really hate the SMELL of pigs. Whenever I go to the Big E (a major fair up in Springfield Mass) and go near the pigs, I am so grossed out by the smell that I can't eat pork for weeks. I don't feel this way about the cows, who I always pet and thank for being so delicious. I think subconsciously I know that if I laid around in my own filth for long enough, I would smell just like a pig.
And one time in my life, I DID smell like a pig. Honestly.
I had a wound cauterized. I wasn't looking. I was staring into space, thinking about pizza. The reason I was thinking about pizza is because I was SMELLING pizza--well, pepperoni anyway. I've never liked pepperoni much, but this day I was craving it so badly I could smell it...
No.
That was MY ARM BURNING.
When you burn me, I smell like pepperoni.
That's the long version of why I don't eat pepperoni. The short version is, "It's too greasy."

Dream

Weird dream just now. I know it was just now because I got up at 4:45 to go to the bathroom and dreamed this afterward.

I was walking or driving (?) down an unfamilar road and there was a large, dead animal on the side of the road. You know how some dead things on the road kind of mummify, they are just bones and skin/fur? That's what this was. It wasn't a deer; it seemed too hairy. (No, I didn't even THINK of it being Bigfoot until just this moment.) I went closer and it was a HORSE! The hair was its mane and tail. I was totally grossed out and kept going. Around a curve, on the other side of the road, there was some kind of shelf, and the shelf was covered with objects. Toy cars (matchbox size and micro-mini size), little puzzles, silk boxes, etc. All kinds of things like that. And no one was there with them, and they just seemed abandoned somehow. I went closer and started looking at everything. To get there I had to step over this brown barrel, which I did. The only thing I was tempted to take were some of the micro cars, to send to my friend's sons. There was nothing that appealed to me for myself. This lady C. I know came along and was also looking at the stuff, and then a little foreign man came out of nowhere and started packing everything up. I had a handful of cars and I put them in a box for him as if I'd meant to do that all along. C. also started picking things up, and then she had the audacity to ask the guy to pay her for helping, and he DID. (One of those moments when you say, "Damn, why didn't I think of that!")

So I walked away, sans toys for my friend's kids, and that was when I saw that the "barrel" I had stepped over was another dead horse. It had no legs, the head was just a skull. It looked like the dead Hogzilla (See next post). I was so upset, I wanted to call whoever--animal control, public works--and get these damn dead horses out of the road!

Also in that dream, I was at the beach, but it was a weird beach. We were sitting in basically an alleyway between two buildings; the alley was maybe 5-6' wide. I was burrowing into the sand to make a soft sand nest to sit in and I found a little package. I unwrapped it and it was full of crystals, including this long, thin blue crystal like an icicle, which had been fashioned into a wand (it had smaller crystals and polished stones glued to it). I somehow knew this blue crystal was the exact thing I needed to cure something that was wrong with me (Don't know what that something was, though.) Then I was somewhere else, getting dressed, and I looked down at my body and sucked in my stomach, and I could see my hipbones when I did that. As soon as I let the "suck" go all my flab came back. And I thought, "Maybe now I've lost enough weight to get the bariatric surgery."

In the final part of the same dream, I was in a car which was driven by a man, and he wanted to marry a cat (an ordinary house cat) and I was arguing with him, and he said that some guy from the Rolling Stones had done it so why couldn't he? We were driving on a lawn, and there was a stone retaining wall ahead of it, and we flew over the wall, and I woke up when we hit the ground.

In the real world, I am going to a huge gem show this weekend. I will be looking for that blue wand.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Happy 3 Lamat & 8/8 gate

12.19.12.9.8 3 Lamat 6 Yaxkin

Minor 8/8 gate today. This gate doesn't truly take effect until 2008, of course, but it echoes back to now (or what we perceive as now in linear time).

Lamat: star, astrology, psychic readings, indulgence, drunkeness, etc. With a low modifying number of 3, it's a good day to indulge yourself without worry of going overboard. You can do readings for yourself or have a reading done by a professional (like me!).

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Happy 2 Manik

12.19.12.9.7 2 Manik 5 Yaxkin

We've taken our first steps into the Manik cycle--being a tool of the gods. This could be a new part of your continuing growth, or something you're already familiar with. Don't forget Manik is also the Deer--the shy animal who runs from the slightest provocation. Are you shying away from your destiny?

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Happy 1 Cimi

12.19.12.9.6 1 Cimi 4 Yaxkin

It's the very first Cimi day--all about changes. You can continue the cycle we've been discussing for the past few days about planting and nurturing seeds and new growth. Allow all that to work its changing magic upon you.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Happy 13 Chicchan & New Moon

12.19.12.9.5 13 Chicchan 3 Yaxkin

It's the ultimate Chicchan day! Yoga, kundalini, bring up that sleeping earth energy and awaken your consciousness!
It's also the new moon, a time of beginnings, time to let things grow (the seeds you got yesterday from Kan?), and to do magical workings for attainment, growth & manifestation.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Happy 12 Kan & Manifestation day

12.19.12.9.4 12 Kan 2 Yaxkin

Kan the lizard, the seed, the muse. 12 is the penultimate number, the next to highest. Preparing for the big finish. You can imagine this as the 2nd wind of your creativity.

It's also a manifestation day. Kan will grant you small ideas--seeds--things which you may choose to keep in a jar for later, to feed to the birds, or to water and nuture.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Happy 11 Akbal

12.19.12.9.3 11 Akbal 1 Yaxkin

Akbal-my birth energy! I am always happy to come back to an Akbal day. It's very soothing for me. And conversely, one of the hardest days to write about. To me, Akbal just is.

11 is pretty high energy. 11's also a master number if you're into numerology. It's not the highest, of course--that's 13--but 11's getting up there. Desires for coccooning, hiding in the cave, fear of death (does the caterpillar think it's dying? Does the caterpillar die to become a butterfly?).

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Lunsadh ceremony yesterday

Last night we did a lovely Lunasadh ceremony which involved people making lists of 7 things they've accomplished, 7 things which make them happy, and 7 things they are grateful for (as part of the harvest/abundance mentality of Lunasadh). When I passed out the papers I said it was a quiz and spelling counted, including all the Mayan and Aztec words/names we use in the ritual. People started joking about it, and trying to list all the day names and gods we mentioned, and they did pretty good. I was impressed. The ceremony went well. We also brought up energy from the earth and down from the sky and made a heart-light ball similiar to what I do in my Shamballa Multi-Dimensional Healing classes, but I used different terminology. People said they liked it. But of course they disliked making lists and disliked sharing them even more. One gentleman was appalled that I asked him to share--he admitted that he listed his dog before his wife! My husband actually listed the cats as something that made him happy--the same cats he complains about all the time. It's interesting to me to hear what people list; it really shows where they are on their path.
The ceremony wasn't in the unfinished Circle (I know, I owe lots of photos to this blog), but at my friend's store, Curious Goods in West Haven, CT.

Happy 10 Ik and Welcome Yaxkin!

12.19.12.9.2 10 Ik 0 Yaxkin

Yaxkin is the center (one of the few Haab month names I have found translations for).
Ik is all about communication, grounding, speaking the words of the gods, being spacey, and the tree of life. (One of the more complex daysigns, IMHO.)
With today being the seating of Yaxkin, the center, I can only think that today's about grounding (what some call "centering"). And ten is just past the center, slipping toward overdoing it. So I think you should keep your center, keep your grounding, and don't let people push you around today.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Happy 9 Imix

12.19.12.9.1 9 Imix 19 Xul


Wow, it's August already! I feel old. Time is sure flying.

9 Imix: the 3d of the balanced Imix days, with energy increasing. Imix is about mothering, smothering, carrying the weight of the world on your back. I guess all of those things really go together, don't they? Your heavy burden smothers you, especially if you are a mom. I see my friends who have children just overwhelmed by it all some days. Not being a parent myself, I can't tell you how to balance that, but it needs to be balanced. You need to be taken care of. Maybe you need to make Imix days be self-days, when you get smothered with attention instead of being borne down by your burdens.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Happy 8 ahau

12.19.12.9.0 8 Ahau 18 Xul

It's the Ahau celebration day, and today I celebrated by going to the baptism of my best friend's baby, whose birthday just happens to be 7 Ahau, making her 280 days old. (isn't that great? can't do that with the Julian calendar.)
Ahau, lord flower, the best and highest you can be. What to strive for.
A day to do your best and be your best.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Happy 7 Cauac

12.19.12.8.19 7 Cauac 17 Xul

Seven rainstorm, energy from heaven. Two days ago you prayed, yesterday you got confirmation of the truth, today you are blessed. What a lovely progression.
It's the lovely balanced day of Cauac. You will feel blessed in all you do. Look for a door to open.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Happy 6 Etznab, manifestation portal

12.19.12.8.18 6 Etznab 16 Xul

Etznab is about balance, energy exchange, sacrifice and things not being what they seem.
Today we'll be manifesting through Eztnab energies. Look for sudden realizations of truth & justice (perhaps based on yesterday's prayers for help?).
Six is one of the balance days of 6-7-8, so look to be ultra-fair in your dealings today, in this dual-energy of balance.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Happy 5 Caban

12.19.12.8.17 5 Caban 15 Xul


Caban: earthquakes, incense, sudden changes, talking to the gods.
Five: almost balanced, decent energy
Hmm, good day to "say your prayers" --as long as you know how. The way I was taught is to say "Lord, I am not worthy" and then make a request. How stupid is that? That's not the way to do it. If someone walked up to you and said, "Hey, I'm a real jerk. Gimme $20." Would you? If the same person said, "Look, I'm in a bad place. I need $20. In return, I'll tell people you're great and feed you." That's not such a bad deal. Who would you give the $20?

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Happy 4 Cib

12.19.12.8.16 4 Cib 14 Xul

Cib: the vulture who eats karma and trash
4: low/elemental
Clean your house. Feng-shui your surroundings. Remember that in Feng shui, things that are hidden still count! Good if you don't want guests to see the red ribbons you've tied on everything, bad when you shove piles of old magazines under the couch. And that goes for your subconsious too. What gems are you hiding in there? you think they are hidden, but they aren't...clean your mind too!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Happy 3 Men: Burner day!

12.19.12.8.15 3 Men 13 Xul

Happy burner day! Perhaps the recent/ongoing heat wave is part of this burner cycle. Lots of people having heatstrokes and dying.

Men: wise one, akashic records, random knowledge
On a low 3 day like today, do minor research for something you've already started. Brainstorm a little. Do some pendulum work (yes/no/maybe type questions).

Monday, July 25, 2005

Happy 2 Ix

12.19.12.8.14 2 Ix 12 Xul

It's a gentle little Ix day--the jaguar, the earth shaman, the special earth/galactic energies. It's a day more for thinking than doing. It's a time for a gentle start or push. Look at things like the moon--it's waning (looks like it will be new around August 4th (12 Kan). What kind of things can you do during a waning moon? Anything which banishes or reduces--banish your debt, your extra weight, your exboy/girlfriends, your massive collection of unwatched VHS tapes. You know where you have "excess abundance" in your life!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Happy 1 Ben... Happy Birthday Queztalcoatl!

12.19.12.8.13 1 Ben 11 Xul

It's the little baby Ben day. The day to start trying out concepts having to do with Ben--the reed that bends, that can be used to make boats to travel to new and exciting places, to be a pathfinder, a trail blazer, a knowledge and way seeker.
It's 1 Reed today, Queztalcoatl's birthday. Has anyone heard if he returned? Well, we'll wait another 260 days. Sigh. Would have been cool if he came back during the Tzolkin I was honoring him.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Happy 13 Eb

12.19.12.8.12 13 Eb 10 Xul

It's the big one for Eb! Follow your path today, your destiny. Don't listen to others unless you KNOW absolutelly that they have your highest & best in their heart. (And that includes ME dear ones--I am not infallible.)

Friday, July 22, 2005

Happy 12 Chuen

12.19.12.8.11 12 Chuen 9 Xul

The penultimate (I love that word) Chuen day! Creativity, mischief, coloring outside the lines.
Think big today.
Not a canvas, but a wall mural. Not a haiku, a book-long ode. If you MUST prank someone...well...be as kind as you can.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Circle

I have some pictures that I will probably post over the weekend, from last week.
But there's been a damper put into the whole re-building thing, though. My mom, who has been helping us out with money and groceries and tuition, lost her job yesterday. My dad has Alzheimer's and his medication is $300/month and now she has no insurance. She can't collect unemployment for 6 months since she got severance pay, but her severance was mostly sucked up for taxes. Her pension is a whopping $100 a month and when the company goes under (as it seems to be doing) that goes away. I should be in a position to ease her burdens at this point in my life, not be holding my hand out.
We still have to buy all the wood chips and the concrete to finish the circle. I don't know if we can afford it.

Happy 11 Oc (Manifestation portal/burner)

12.19.12.8.10 11 Oc 8 Xul

It's Oc! Nice Oc, nice doggy. And a lovely dual- energied day of manifestation and a burner. I need some of both--such stuff going on in my life right now.

Since it's an oc portal, look for inspiration and manifestation to come from the angels, spirit guides, your higher self.
Since it's a burner day, these things will be larger-than-life or affect lots of people.
Since it's an 11 day, again, look for high/manic/larger than life happenings.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Happy 10 Muluc

12.19.12.8.9 10 Muluc 7 Xul

Muluc-water, emotion, trust
10: getting kind of high

So watch out for issues of trust, especially related to overly-emotional events/people. Like people might try to sucker you into something by tugging your heartstrings. (what a pretty image, too bad it's a cliche)

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Happy 9 Lamat

12.19.12.8.8 9 Lamat 6 Xul

Lamat: rabbit in the moon, astrology, psychic phenomen, self-indulgence, over-indulgence (drunkeness & promiscuity). Lot of stuf to pack into one small bunny. Lest we not forget, the whole idea of the planet Venus, stars (hence astrology) & Queztalcoatl.
9 is high/balanced
.
Leaves today pretty wide open, doesn't it? Get a reading for yourself, or do your own self-reading. Go to a spa. Get hammered. Go to the plantarium (might have to get hammered for that too). Worship dragons.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Happy 8 Manik

12.19.12.8.7 8 Manik 5 Xul

It's the ultimate Manik day, the celebration. How can we celebrate Manik, one of the more complex daysigns? Deer, cooperation, herd mentality, shyness, being a tool of the gods, a human angel. Well, we could go out among people and do some good deeds. Anonymously, of course. I'll never forget one time my best friend & I tried to do an anonymous good deed. We were going into a gem show and we paid for the two people behind us. We gave the ticket taker our you've been touched by an angel cards & told her to just give the people the cards & tell them their tickets were paid for, and NOT to say who did it. We were barely at the first table in the show and we hear the ticket taker saying loudly "Those two girls over there paid for your tickets--some kind of project they're doing." Sigh. But don't let the idiots of the world ruin your good deeds. Just do it.