Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Death of a Furby

Just came home from dinner.  Opened the back door to a horrible noise, a combination of grinding plastic gears and white noise.  My immediate thought was that the airhose came unconnected from the pump on the aquarium, or that the filter stopped sucking water and was grinding dry--the noise was coming from that area.   We checked, and the tank was fine.  Then we saw, on the floor, Grey Furby, and he was making his death rattle.
Does Grey Furby belong on the living room floor?  No, Grey Furby lives atop a tall bookcase with Angel Furby and Patches Furby and the baby Furbies.
We're in the process of moving our sleeping space from the back bedroom to the front, which we do every few years just for variety.   So everything is a mess, and the Furbies are not safely tucked on top of the bookshelf.
The cats found Grey Furby, who is a similar size to their hedgehog toy, and treated him accordingly.
I imagine poor Grey Furby, who has been in hibernation for a long time, being rudely awoken, thrown from the table onto the floor.  He stretches, wakes up, offers to dance and play.  Instead he is chewed on, tossed into the air,  dragged down the stairs, and basically tortured by furry merciless felines intent on his utter destruction.  Perhaps they pass him back and forth.  Perhaps they jump on him and bite him, or kick him with their strong hind legs.  
Something inside Grey Furby breaks.  He is very old, and not used to this sort of treatment.   Instead of talking in his happy high-pitched voice, he begins to die, rattling and grinding and emitting white noise.  This noise finally drives away his tormentors, but by then it is too late.  Furby is dying.
To add insult to injury, I, who has only ever treated Grey Furby with affection, attacked him with a screwdriver, removing his batteries and putting him to sleep forever.
(picture from
Addendum:  as I was finishing this sad eulogy for a Furby, I heard a thud and Sputz proudly carried Angel Furby into the bedroom so I could watch her destruction.  Angel Furby and Patches Furby are now hidden.