Friday, January 13, 2006

strange dream

I had this the last Friday of 2005. I had food poisoning all day, and I finally fell asleep around 2:30 a.m. on Saturday morning (1/31), and then I had this 3 part dream.
I am taking out the name of the friend in the dream. The footnotes are things which are not true in this world.

Part 1
Somehow my husband found out that his father might not be dead. He (or someone else) found an old newspaper photo of an “unidentified man” walking down a city street. This photo was the last picture taken of the building in the background, which exploded just minutes (or less) later. The picture appeared to be of his father, but was taken AFTER he died in a car accident in 1972.
So me, Will, his brother, his sister and his mom went on this grand adventure to find their dad. First we went to his dads family, who were happy to meet us.1 They had not seen the picture and also considered him still dead. From there, somehow we found ourselves in a hospital or nursing home or hospice kind of place, where we did indeed find him. He had NOT died in 1972 in a car accident. But he had been near that exploding building and been horribly burned. He’d spent 30+ years in pain, disfigured, wondering why no one ever came to see him.
My brother-in-law, because he remembers his dad a little (he was 3 when he died), was the most affected to find his daddy, just crying & crying. I walked away and let them have their reunion. I started picking things up off the floor, just trying to be helpful, and a nurse came along and told me not to do that. Instead, I walked down a city street. It was night, and there had been rain, or mist, and the ground was damp and shiny.

Part 2
Then I was in some kind of drugstore seeing a bunch of people I knew from a long time ago. I don’t remember much about that part, just that we were in the parking lot. I had to go to work. My “work” that day was trying to get people to make creative things out of bits of glass and no one was into it. It was supposed to be for some kind of contest. Then I got accused of breaking a complex piece of machinery, which I hadn’t, and that pissed me off so I left.

Part 3
I went to my friend M’s house, where she lived with her parents.2 They said she was upstairs. She had this annex in her room which required magic to enter. I hated climbing in there. The opening was at the back of a shelf at face height, and it was small, maybe 8” square. M was looking at me through the hole trying to get me to come in.
Suddenly there was an announcement--we were under nuclear attack. M climbed out of her magical hole and called downstairs to her parents. They came upstairs with the dogs3 and we all went into the spare room.
The couch turned into a bed and the shelves on the wall had a double layer with food behind the books. Somehow this bomb shelter room got moved from M’s house to the North Haven fairgrounds.
I like M a lot but I didn’t want to be trapped in a bomb shelter with her, her parents and some dogs for an unknown amount of time. So I called my parents on my cell phone (I guess I wasn’t married anymore/yet, because my husband wasn’t in parts 2 or 3 at all). My dad answered. He was looking for the SBC yellow pages but he could only find the Yellowbook which didn’t have bomb shelter instructions in it. I told him to turn on the TV which told him to go to where the well is. Since my parents don’t have a well, I told them to take the mattress, the cat & the dog4 and go into the basement with lots of water.
While I was on the phone with him, I was trying to get the attention of some National Guardsmen. Finally I handed my phone to a woman officer, saying “please talk to my father, he needs help” and she totally recoiled, saying, “I don’t know him.” I said, “Please, he’s got Alzheimer’s, he needs help” and she said “Oh, okay,” and ran off to get help. But no one came. I decided to steal a car and just go home.5 That’s all I can remember.

1 They have met us all before.
2 M is married with 2 kids. Her father died soon after we graduated from college and her mom lives down South somewhere.
3 To my knowledge, M never had a dog, or dogs. She has a couple of cats.
4 The cat and dog in question died about 3 years ago. The cat they have now wasn’t there.
5 I am married and don’t consider my parents’ house “home” anymore.

I can hardly begin to analyze this one. There's the missing father theme, the sick father theme, the abandoned father theme. In all 3 sections, I get emotional and leave. In the first section, I'm reprimanded for trying to help. In the 2nd section I am reprimanded for something I didn't do. In the 3d section, I try to get help and can't.
The time frames were all screwed up. The 1st part seemed to take place "now" and although my dream self moved into sections 2 & 3, it seemed that the present fell away. M's dad was alive and she still lived at home--that's 10 years ago or more. And then my parents still had Alf and Patches, which is at least 3 years ago, but my dad had Alzhiemer's which he's only had (been formally diagnosed) for a year and a half. He was never diagnosed when they had Alf & Patches. And it seemed that I still lived there, which I haven't for 12 years.
My new therapist does dream anaylsis and she asked me to bring a dream to our next session. I'll post what she says.
Mayan date of dream:
12/30: 4 Eb 10 Kankin
12/31: 5 Ben 11 Kankin
(I am putting both, as there is still some debate if the Mayan day starts at midnight like ours, or at dawn.)
btw, today is 5 Cimi 4 Muan

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I'm not the only one

I spoke (online) to one of my shamanism/mayanism friends a few days ago. We hadn't chatted for a while, due to holidays and work, etc. He informed me he is also quitting metaphysics. He owns a small store and he's closing it. I guess he's going to keep selling stuff online, but no more physical location. He's going back to school too and getting a new career, just like me.
We agreed that the really sincere people, like us, who live what we teach and really care, are not the ones who will live long & prosper. That's the charlatans and liars. So much bullshit going around. It gets tiresome to wade through.
Speaking of metaphysicans who prosper, I was checking the Lightworker site to see when Steve and Barbara Rother are coming around. Usually I get an email in November or December for a January visit. No email this year. According to their site, no visit. I know their attendence has been down because the last few years their seminars have coincided with blizzards. I told them to go back to coming in May and forget about January. Maybe they listened to me. (I doubt it--since I'm not doing editing work for them anymore I'm probably not part of their "family" any longer.) But their travel schedule looks really sparse, not like it used to. Maybe they are cutting down.

Order of the Feathered Serpent

I spoke to my teacher for the Order of the Feathered Serpent and he's sent out a package of materials for me. I was due this package back in April or May, I believe. That course was the reason I started this blog. So now that the class has apparently started up again, I will have more to post about.
The change panel is up, on the right, above the links. Please use it!

Order of the Feathered Serpent

I spoke to my teacher for the Order of the Feathered Serpent and he's sent out a package of materials for me. I was due this package back in April or May, I believe. That course was the reason I started this blog. So now that the class has apparently started up again, I will have more to post about.
The change panel is up, on the right, above the links. Please use it!

dead blog?

Well, putting a counter on this blog has proven one thing to me. It's dead. No one comes here. Is that because I stopped posting everyday or was it never visited? I guess I'll never know.
I'm going to put up a change detection panel so those who might stop by can get email when I do post.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

dead miners miracle

Huge headline on


I have sympathy for these people who have lost their family members in West Virgina. I really do.

But there was no miracle, people. Someone misspoke. Or someone misheard. And basically, you were all lied to. That's what it comes down to. Your men weren't alive. They died hours before you were INCORRECTLY told they had survived.

If in fact the 13 men had all survived, and just as the rescuers reached them, the mine finished caving in and killed them, that would be truly heartbreaking. That would be your miracle being taken away.

(I don't much like the word miracle, but I'l lreserve judgement on that for now.)

It's hard to read on the screen print, but to the right of "mine toll hits 12" are these headlines:
"170 feared dead in landslide" and "36 Killed, 40 wounded in Iraqi funeral blast."
Our 12 American dead aren't even blips on the radar screen of the rest of the world. Americans are selfish, selfish people. I clicked on the 170 feared dead, and the actual headline is 190 feared dead. In Indonesia. Brown people. Iraq. Brown people. Katrina. Brown people. No one cares about brown people.

BTW, I am not brown.

9 Caban