Friday, January 13, 2006

strange dream

I had this the last Friday of 2005. I had food poisoning all day, and I finally fell asleep around 2:30 a.m. on Saturday morning (1/31), and then I had this 3 part dream.
I am taking out the name of the friend in the dream. The footnotes are things which are not true in this world.

Part 1
Somehow my husband found out that his father might not be dead. He (or someone else) found an old newspaper photo of an “unidentified man” walking down a city street. This photo was the last picture taken of the building in the background, which exploded just minutes (or less) later. The picture appeared to be of his father, but was taken AFTER he died in a car accident in 1972.
So me, Will, his brother, his sister and his mom went on this grand adventure to find their dad. First we went to his dads family, who were happy to meet us.1 They had not seen the picture and also considered him still dead. From there, somehow we found ourselves in a hospital or nursing home or hospice kind of place, where we did indeed find him. He had NOT died in 1972 in a car accident. But he had been near that exploding building and been horribly burned. He’d spent 30+ years in pain, disfigured, wondering why no one ever came to see him.
My brother-in-law, because he remembers his dad a little (he was 3 when he died), was the most affected to find his daddy, just crying & crying. I walked away and let them have their reunion. I started picking things up off the floor, just trying to be helpful, and a nurse came along and told me not to do that. Instead, I walked down a city street. It was night, and there had been rain, or mist, and the ground was damp and shiny.

Part 2
Then I was in some kind of drugstore seeing a bunch of people I knew from a long time ago. I don’t remember much about that part, just that we were in the parking lot. I had to go to work. My “work” that day was trying to get people to make creative things out of bits of glass and no one was into it. It was supposed to be for some kind of contest. Then I got accused of breaking a complex piece of machinery, which I hadn’t, and that pissed me off so I left.

Part 3
I went to my friend M’s house, where she lived with her parents.2 They said she was upstairs. She had this annex in her room which required magic to enter. I hated climbing in there. The opening was at the back of a shelf at face height, and it was small, maybe 8” square. M was looking at me through the hole trying to get me to come in.
Suddenly there was an announcement--we were under nuclear attack. M climbed out of her magical hole and called downstairs to her parents. They came upstairs with the dogs3 and we all went into the spare room.
The couch turned into a bed and the shelves on the wall had a double layer with food behind the books. Somehow this bomb shelter room got moved from M’s house to the North Haven fairgrounds.
I like M a lot but I didn’t want to be trapped in a bomb shelter with her, her parents and some dogs for an unknown amount of time. So I called my parents on my cell phone (I guess I wasn’t married anymore/yet, because my husband wasn’t in parts 2 or 3 at all). My dad answered. He was looking for the SBC yellow pages but he could only find the Yellowbook which didn’t have bomb shelter instructions in it. I told him to turn on the TV which told him to go to where the well is. Since my parents don’t have a well, I told them to take the mattress, the cat & the dog4 and go into the basement with lots of water.
While I was on the phone with him, I was trying to get the attention of some National Guardsmen. Finally I handed my phone to a woman officer, saying “please talk to my father, he needs help” and she totally recoiled, saying, “I don’t know him.” I said, “Please, he’s got Alzheimer’s, he needs help” and she said “Oh, okay,” and ran off to get help. But no one came. I decided to steal a car and just go home.5 That’s all I can remember.

1 They have met us all before.
2 M is married with 2 kids. Her father died soon after we graduated from college and her mom lives down South somewhere.
3 To my knowledge, M never had a dog, or dogs. She has a couple of cats.
4 The cat and dog in question died about 3 years ago. The cat they have now wasn’t there.
5 I am married and don’t consider my parents’ house “home” anymore.

I can hardly begin to analyze this one. There's the missing father theme, the sick father theme, the abandoned father theme. In all 3 sections, I get emotional and leave. In the first section, I'm reprimanded for trying to help. In the 2nd section I am reprimanded for something I didn't do. In the 3d section, I try to get help and can't.
The time frames were all screwed up. The 1st part seemed to take place "now" and although my dream self moved into sections 2 & 3, it seemed that the present fell away. M's dad was alive and she still lived at home--that's 10 years ago or more. And then my parents still had Alf and Patches, which is at least 3 years ago, but my dad had Alzhiemer's which he's only had (been formally diagnosed) for a year and a half. He was never diagnosed when they had Alf & Patches. And it seemed that I still lived there, which I haven't for 12 years.
My new therapist does dream anaylsis and she asked me to bring a dream to our next session. I'll post what she says.
Mayan date of dream:
12/30: 4 Eb 10 Kankin
12/31: 5 Ben 11 Kankin
(I am putting both, as there is still some debate if the Mayan day starts at midnight like ours, or at dawn.)
btw, today is 5 Cimi 4 Muan

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