Tuesday, December 06, 2005

me & metaphysics

I've had some bad experiences over the past few months with the metaphysical world. The only positive one was that I was invited to write an article for a local publication called The Door Opener about Mayanism, which I did. I also paid for an advertisement to run in that same issue about my upcoming Mayanism class. Seems like a slam-dunk, right? well, the ad didn't run, and I got no one for the class. The only student I've ever gotten for it never paid me--from 2 years ago.
Also the whole thing with the Feathered Serpent Initate thing (the reason I started this blog)...the teacher flaked out on me, he never once read any of my postings, and he stopped sending me lessons even though I'd paid in advance and bought $200 worth of books to support the lessons.
I had a horrible experience at the New Age Fair I work at a few times a year. I was in a lot of pain from my tailbone (which I thought would be healed by then, and wasn't or I wouldn't have agreed to go), and then I got one 1 reading and no reflexology clients. I decided to just cut my losses and go home halfway through the day. I went downstairs to collect the $10 owed to me for the reading and found out they'd changed their procedures and I OWED money. $20 for my "space" (in a hallway where no paying vendor would EVER be placed). $20 for bringing my own chair (my reflexology chair--would they provide one for me? No. But I have to pay to bring my own.) and the minimum of $20/10% from my reflexology business. So I was $60 in the hole just for showing up and I'd only made $10. They had changed the rules without telling anyone in advance. WRONG.
So I am not working there anymore. I was just going to do readings, but no, I'm not doing that either.
I've mentioned on here how I stopped my Circle of Light meetings due to lack of interest. (A lack so profound that when I put up a poll asking "why didn't you come to meetings" no one ever responded!) I had very few students for Shamballa this year--a class of 3 way back in April who were mostly upgrades who already knew Reiki and another woman who took 2 levels around the same time. I had her and 3-5 past students ready for level 3 and none of them could get it together to agree on a date, or they had no money, blah blah blah.
So fuck it. I'm not teaching Shamballa anymore. I'm not doing Reiki sessions or reflexology sessions. I'm not putting myself out there and getting slapped down.
Why am I even posting this here? No one ever comes and reads this blog--there was one guy who commented for a while, but not lately.

Mayan-themed dream (6 lamat)

This morning I had a kind of strange Mayan-themed dream.
I was in Mexico somewhere, at these ruins. Except that they'd turned them into a kind of theme park. When you snorkled or dived you could listen to a tape telling you what to look at (like in a museum) and they also had rides and clowns and a single hyacinth macaw (the huge blue ones).
I was going to go snorkeling with a bunch of people (people I know, but I don't remember who they were now) and take pictures of the ruins (did I mention they were underwater mostly?). But I couldn't find all my gear at once. I'd find my mask, but not my camera, or my snorkel and not my mask, etc. So all the people in my group left without me.
Eventually I managed to get everything together at once and went down to where you get into the water, and it wasn't easy. There were no stairs or ramps. It was just a concrete retaining wall with the water underneath it and the pyramid off to the side. I figured I could jump in okay but how would I get back out? I jumped in and started adjusting my equipment and looking into the water when I noticed that my camera's yellow underwater housing wasn't closed properly because it was broken, and it was broken because someone had borrowed it and obviously damaged it. Immediately I started worrying about my expensive digital camera inside the houseing, but when I went to the edge of the pool and opened the housing, the camera wasn't even in there. So I gave the broken housing to someone to put aside for me (and hoped no one would steal it, although it has no value unless you have the special camera which fits in it).
I didn't want to listen to the commentary tapes & I was upset that I couldn't take pictures but I started swimming around anyway. There were lots and lots of really pretty fish, brightly colored, purple ones, yellow ones, red ones. I realized I was more interested in the fish than the ruins, and why not? The ruins were just building blocks. No statues or glyphs or paintings. I swam along the bottom of the pyramid and started down the hill (yes, the water was on a hill, can't explain) toward the actual beach and more ruins and pyramids out in the ocean. (That's when I saw the macaw and the rides, from the hilltop vantage point.) I met all my friends coming back and they were saying how they swam all the way out into the open ocean to the ruins out there but it was too far for me to go alone, and no one wanted to go back with me.
And then my husband woke me up.