Monday, January 29, 2007

indoor sundial dream 9 Manik 0 Pax
In this dream, I was at the Meriden Square with a friend (which friend I was with kept changing so I'll assume that friend wasn't important). They were unveiling a new exhibit--an indoor sundial. (Not that the Square has exhibits! It's a shopping mall--oh, sorry, a "Westfield Shopping Town".) It was the opening and a lot of press were there, but it's not clear to me if I was there as a reporter or I just happened to be there.
The person who created the sundial had died right after completing it, which is sad. He was Mexican. They had some female relative of his speak in his place. She barely spoke English and knew nothing about the sundial and basically they made her look like a buffoon. Somehow I got the original notes she was speaking from and she'd written across the top that she made custom cakes. I think she thought maybe the paper would get passed around and she'd get advertising benefits. I thought maybe someday I'd call her to make me a cake or something fancy so I put the paper in my pocket.
The sundial itself was still covered, but there were all these other exhibits that were part of it. They made no sense. It was like just snippets of the guy's life.
As my ever-changing friend and I were looking at these snippets, the main unveiling happened. We went over to see it.
Technically speaking, a sundial is a kind of clock which works by a shadow cast on the ground by some kind of upright (called a gnomon). I'm not sure how it adjusts for the changing positions of the sun in different seasons; however that's not important. What is important is that you can't have an indoor sundial and I don't know why anyone would have commissioned one. What would it measure, mall time?
This sculpture wasn't a sundial. It might have kept some kind of time and technically been a CLOCK, but it was NOT a sundial. It had a lot of fiber optics that came on and off seemingly randomly in different areas. It was round. And vertical (like a clock, not horizontal like a sundial). It included lots of pictures, some of which had been in the attached exhibition.
And it was a ride, like a carnival ride.
I didn't ride it. I went to sit down nearby. People kept getting sick and having to get off. I didn't even watch how the ride portion of the sundial worked, that's how absurd I knew it was even as I was asleep.
There was a lot more to the dream, but only this part feels important.

Writing this out, I see that the "sundial" was actually some kind of akaskic record for the man who created it. That's why all the side exhibits were so personal to him and made no sense to anyone else. It measured HIS time--it was all about him, and therefore appropriate that he died upon its completion. Since no one truly wants to live another person's life, riding the sundial made everyone ill and want to get off.
And since this is about me, and most likely about my calendar...hmm. When I finish my Jaguar Nights 2008 calendar am I going to drop dead? I don't think so--too literal. Even the calendar part might be too literal.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

dream 8 Cimi 19 Muan
I have a friend who has cancer. She's already been in hospice once. It's disconcerting to think someone my age could die...not in a car accident, but of a disease, of a body giving out. My best friend went through this a few years ago when a friend of hers from high school died of bone cancer at age 34. We still think we're immortal in our hearts, that we're 18 or 22 with everything ahead of us.
I haven't talked to her for a few months, but she popped up in a dream last night.

In the dream, I was going to go visit her. But she wasn't home, she was in a hospital room. Room 118 to be exact. Except this this room wasn't in a hospital. It was...
detached... somehow.
I can show you on a map where in town it was, although the streets I took to get there don't really exist and neither does the place where it was. I finally found the place, and there were two rooms there, not just one. Room 117 was there too, right next door. Imagine a very small concrete shed or shack, barely wider than the door, and only a few feet deep. That's what these "rooms" looked like from the outside. They were separated by about 10 feet, on a plot of land that needed serious lawn care. I parked my car (gravel driveway) and went to 118. When I opened the (unlocked) door, there was no room inside, just a concrete stairway leading down, very much like an exterior basement entrance. The stairwell was about 1/3 full of crinkly fall leaves and crumpled paper 8 1/2 by 11, not newspaper). Neither of those things weigh very much and it was easy for me to push them aside and get to the lower door, which wasn't numbered. I knocked and went in.
The room inside was also made of concrete. The lighting was low and dim. It did not look like a hospital room. It looked like someone living in a basement, in a one-room apartment. The walls were lined with bookshelves stuffed with books. My friend was sitting on the couch with her back to me. She did not seem to want to see me, and seemed rather surprised I'd made the effort. I said something about the leaves in the stairwell and she waved her hand a little and said she'd have it taken care of. I felt very awkward--not because she was sick, but because I was clearly an unwanted guest. I finally asked if she was going to be able to go home and she snapped, clearly irritated, "I'm working on it."
With that, I left, and realized that when I said "home" I wasn't sure if I meant "Home" (meaning heaven or the other side of the veil or the afterlife, however you envision it) or "home" like back to where she lived. When I got upstairs, a bulldozer had just finished knocking down room 117. I marveled that we hadn't heard it from underground, and wondered it meant that the room was gone. Had the patient gone Home or gone home?
Then I went to do a bunch of other things that didn't really seem related. I was bringing my old Body Shop stuff to a party, but I was late because I couldn't merge into the correct lane and had to around in a big loop and waste a bunch of time. Then I realized I was supposed to be bringing my mom but going back for her would make me even later. I called her and she was angry at me, but understanding. When I got to the house where the party was, a bunch of old ladies wanted me to play cards. I pulled a regular deck (52 cards) out of my purse (why I had cards in my purse I couldn't tell you) but they said we had to play with their deck. It was a big fat deck and made up of regular cards, tarot cards and some other kinds of cards based on places, almost like the location cards in Mythos (the Call of Cthulhu trading card game). The smaller cards had been laminated and cut to be the same size. We were supposed to "sell" the cards in our hands to the other players. I had a blue-inked New York City card and I tried to sell it to the lady on my left for 500 (500 what? I don't know. Points? Pennies?) and she said that was too much so I changed it to 50 and she offered me 30 and I realized I had no clue how to play this stupid game.
Then my ex-boyfriend wanted to see me. I didn't want to see him but I went and picked him up anyway. I was driving my 1981 Chevy Chevette--it was light blue with a white stripe--and my body shop bags were in the back seat. He kept saying how much room there was in the back (not true!) and I had the awful feeling he wanted to have sex with me. So I told him I wasn't on any birth control which had the opposite effect. I got away from him and went home but I felt as dirty as if I HAD slept with him, so I took a shower.
The next day I decided to go see my friend again. The stairwell was completely full of leaves and papers this time. I scooped them out with my hands until I could get down to the door. She was playing World of Warcraft and one of my husband's friends (who doesn't play WoW) was there. They were talking about how there was a Dungeons and Dragons expansion for World of Warcraft. I said I had seen the ad for it in Dragon magazine.
They both looked at me like "what the hell are YOU doing here" but I didn't leave. I outstayed my welcome. My friend asked me if I could type her spell list for her. She gave me a bunch of very messy hand-written pages with all kinds of strange words and numbers separated by slashes and hyphens, a kind of shorthand which I don't speak. I didn't want to do it, but I said I would. She said she needed the original back in a few hours, or else the finished copy. I said I'd try to find a copy machine or fax machine at the hospital and they both looked at me strangely--hospital? What hospital? I left with the pages and I can't remember anything else.
Basically that's it.
Car picture source

Some of it seems pretty straightforward.
  • Going under the ground, that's a classic shamanic image for visiting the "underworld" and clearly my friend represents some part of my unconscious which is hiding from me...or that is "dying" because of all the work I've been doing on my self (or both--hiding from me because I'm killing it).
  • Fall leaves are a death symbol, but like all death symbols have that hint of rebirth about them. The crumpled papers all had writing on them--discarded thoughts? Thoughtforms?
  • World of Warcraft--my husband plays it all the time and I'm basically a "WoW Widow" because that's ALL he does at night and on weekends. So it takes my husband away and now it's taking my friend away...except that she represents an aspect of my SELF so how does that work?
  • My old car does go back to the time of that ex-boyfriend. He emailed me recently so that could be why he came up. I have NO desire to have sex with him. He is married and going bald and still a jerk, I presume.
  • Lugging around the bags of Body Shop stuff--that's a failed endeavor which is still haunting me in real life, and I still have the bags of stuff around because I paid for it all and I'm going to use it up. I hate failing.
  • The basement room was full of books--that's knowledge, but because it was in this basement, it's hidden knowledge. And my friend (aspect) didn't want me there, so I'm not supposed to see it/not allowed to see it? Don't know how to see it?
  • The old ladies and the cards--no clue what that could mean. They wouldn't let me play with the familiar deck, that's getting me out of my comfort zone and challenging me in some way.
  • Getting on the wrong highway because I couldn't merge--that's victim consciousness, it's not my fault, someone did it TO me.
  • The hospital room being detached from the hospital--I can see that it's rich with symbolism but can't figure out WHAT it means.
  • The other room being destroyed--a symbol of another part of my unconscious being destroyed? Re-absorbed? It felt more hopeful than sorrowful.
  • The "spell list" is knowledge my aspect has that I don't. She was giving me a short time to make a legible copy but I couldn't seem to manage it, or didn't want to.
  • The friend of my husband's being there--my friend and his friend probably know each other as we all went to the same high school, but why he'd be there I don't know. And I can't imagine what he symbolizes in my unconsciousness.

Any outside thoughts welcome.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

pre-Aztec ruins being eaten by pollution 3 Imix 14 Muan
Pollution destroying pre-Aztec Mexican ruins Oil refineries and power stations pumping acid air pollutants along Mexico's Gulf coast threaten to erase carved stone murals at the pre-Aztec ruined city of El Tajin....(A)cid levels in the air around El Tajin, in oil producing Veracruz state, were among the highest in Mexico. The city was built on the tropical coast of Veracruz by the Totonac civilization and was at its height from the early 9th to early 13th century. ....At its peak, the city, home to an elaborate niche-studded pyramid, was a power in an area that extended toward today's border with Texas and south into the realm of the Maya civilization.
Veracruz--that's where all the Olmec ruins are too, many of them destroyed by the building of the oil fields.
I wonder if North American natives had left stone ruins if we'd be destroying them or protecting them. All the good ones are down south, and the only reason anyone seems to care is because tourists come to see them and generate revenue.
Picture sources: top pic, same as story. Other pic, Wikipedia.

Friday, January 19, 2007

what happened on the last burner day...? 12 Caban 10 Muan manifestation portal
My friend asked me last night what had happened on the last burner day (2 days ago) and at first I thought nothing...but then I realized something DID happen.
They moved the Doomsday clock up 2 minutes.
The world has nudged closer to a nuclear apocalypse and environmental disaster, a trans-Atlantic group of prominent scientists warned Wednesday, pushing the hand of its symbolic Doomsday Clock two minutes closer to midnight....The bulletin's clock, which for 60 years has followed the rise and fall of nuclear tensions, [will] now also measure climate change.
I'd say those are happenings affecting a large number of people, wouldn't you?

Friday, January 12, 2007

time distillation or times a' changin' 5 Oc 3 Muan
I've been told for years that time is speeding up, that we only have 16 hours now in a day but because of the way reality has skewed our clocks are skewed too. But our bodies aren't, and that's why we're tired and feel overwhelmed.
But lately I feel the exact opposite. I feel like I am moving very quickly, or that time is moving very slowly. Things take way less CLOCK time than they seem to. I mean things I am actively doing--not waiting in line, or sitting through commercials. I got the new Thomas Harris novel Hannibal Rising (the prequel to the other Hannibal Lector books like Red Dragon, Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal). I read it cover to cover in a little under TWO HOURS. 336 pages. The new Stephen King book Lisey's Story I just read in about 4 hours. 528 pages.
It seems like my thoughts go faster than the outside world, which would explain why commercials seem to go on forever. There are certain commercials I loathe and always mute. If I am reading and only listening to the TV (like if it's a comedian or a show I've seen before), I mute it, read a few pages and then unmute it...and the same commercial is on. Are these 5 minute commercials or am I reading 2-3 pages in 30 seconds? Even if I'm not reading, if I'm curled up falling asleep and I do that, it still seems to take forever.
I don't know what to think about any of this...just sharing to see if anyone else has felt this or if it's just me.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

pillar of creation are dead 3 Lamat 1 Muan
I had this as my wallpaper for a while (and then I had the Witches Broom Nebula). I can't believe it's gone.
Pillars of Creation Toppled By Stellar Blast
(A)new study suggests the famous Pillars of Creation in the Eagle Nebula might have already been toppled long ago, and that what the Hubble Space Telescope actually captured was their ghost image....A new picture of the Eagle Nebula shot by
NASA's Spitzer Space the intact pillars next to a giant cloud of glowing dust scorched by the heat of a massive stellar explosion known as a supernova. (clicking on small image will bring you to original large image).....
Astronomers think the supernova's shock wave knocked the pillars down about 6,000 years ago. But because the Eagle Nebula is located some 7,000 light years away, the majestic pillars will appear intact to observers on Earth for another 1,000 years or so....Humans living 1,000 to 2,000 years ago might have noticed the supernova event that destroyed the pillars as an unusually bright star in the sky.

That I don't understand. How could Earth have seen the shockwave from 7,000 light years away 1,000 years ago but we can still see the (dead) pillars?
In fact, the new show at Peabody Museum (Yale-New Haven) has extensive pictures of the pillars. Wonder if they'll add this new info? It started just after Pluto was demoted, and they had already changed some of the exhibits to reflect that.
I could muse on this. Life is fleeting? Enjoy what you have while you've got it? Beauty is fleeting?

Friday, January 05, 2007

Incan Shamanism--follow-up 11 Akbal 16 Kankin
I just received this follow-up from Gail:
I forgot to mention on your hand out that it is recommended that you bring water from your pacarina to bless and activate your mountain as well. If your birth waters and mountains are too far away and you wish to do this now, you CAN do this in the visionary journey and create your apuchetas in your yard/home representationally as surrogates for actual ordinary reality journeys and apuchetas. It is JUST as powerful when done with intention.
She also posted a comment on the original entry.
If anyone does not know how to program crystals and build altars with intent, please let me know and I'll explain it.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Incan Shamanism--free info 9 Imix 14 Kankin
I took mini-class in Incan shamanism last night (on the full moon). The woman who led it, Gail Gorelick, told us to teach it to as many people as possible.
So here it is.
This information is part of the North American Ceque Project.
After a lot of instruction (below) we went on an unguided shamanic journey (to drumming) to find our Birth Mountain and our Birth Water. (I will detail mine at the end.)
Her handout information is in color. The handouts were hand-written and sometimes hard to read, especially the foreign words.
We will journey to find your Itu Apu=Birth Mountain and Itu Pacurina=Birth Water.
Call in the 4 directions & create sacred space
Build an Itu-Apucheta (stone altar) to these sacred places, then build one at your home & feed it by placing offerings there: flowers, herbs, water, tobacco, essential oils, cornmeal, etc., for 28 days. (Itza, in other words.)
Your home apucheta=7 stones from each of your sacred places. (Note: blow your prayers into each stone while building them.)
Your main apucheta is your itu apu & itu pacarina can be 49 stones as it is in the Incan work (or you can journey to your helping spirits for an amount which is right for you.)
Please bring back 2 extra stones from your apucheta site, 1 for Big Turtle Aiju in Jupiter Farms, Florida, and 1 for Little Turtle Aiju in Trumbull, Connecticut. We are creating a prayerful web of Ceque/Energy lines. (not ley lines)
Prior to building your apucheta, cleanse your energy body by opening the 1) belly 2) heart 3) head in a counterclockwise direction then annointing it with water from y our Itu Pacarina. Then cleanse these 3 areas energetically in a clockwise direction. Seven days is recommended or journey on it.
Not a lot of information, I know. So I will expand on it. This is MY understanding, based on what I was told last night.
We all have an energetic connection to 2 places, a mountain and a body of water. This may be where our soul entered this world for the first time, where it will leave it, or some other connection.
Using your animal helper/totem animal/spirit guide, go the place where you meet him/her/it/them (I used the basic HeartLight Wood meditation to take me to the Heartlight Wood, since like I said, the mediation was unguided except by drums). Ask it (for simplicity's sake) where your birth mountain and birth water are. (They may not be in the same place.)
Once you know, you have to physically go there (if possible). At the water, you have to bring back a sample for the cleansing described above. (Someone can send it to you if you can't make more than one journey there.) Once you are cleansed, you visit the water in person and make a little stone altar with the number of stones indicated by your guides. You must blow a different prayer into each stone. Then take 7 extra stones from that place for your home altar, and 2 extra stones to share with the group, and bring them home with you. I got a strong message that at the beach you can use coral, shells and driftwood to build your altar, and someone else in the group actually said they were told to use shells at the beach for their altar. I assume that means you can bring 7 (9) of those same type of item home with you.
You also need to visit your birth mountain. Same thing, build an altar with stones you find there, blow a prayer into each, take 7 (9) home.
At home, you build your 14 stone altar (or add to an existing altar or sacred place, like my Mayan healing/meditation Circle). Blow a prayer into each stone. Feed it with itza for 28 days every day (and then I'd give it offerings on a regular schedule--full moons or according to the Mayan-Aztec calendar or the 8 holy pagan days).
Send or bring your extra 2 stones to Gail (I won't publish her address or email here but will share on request). If you're doing this through me, I'd appreciate a stone for MY altar too, so make it an even 10 you pick up...!
Not addressed: if you are not allowed to bring back material from the place. (Like Grand Cayman Island, where they check your bags for shells and coral and turtle products at the airport. Or the whole Hawaiian Pele curse thing.)

My shamanic journey:
I was thinking that I'd probably get Sleeping Giant for my mountain, and either Long Island Sound or the Quinnipiac River for my water. I was hoping. Or I'd get something in Hawaii or Mexico that would "require" me to go there (would it be tax-deductible as a business trip, I wonder? "I had to go to Hawaii to my sacred mountain and to the Yucatan to my sacred cenote--honest. I HAD to.") Nothing old world for me (Europe/Asia)--I didn't even think of Australia. I guess an connection to Egypt wouldn't have surprised me much either...
Like I said, I did my own quick version of the start of the HeartLight meditation and got myself to the forest to meet Edward, who was in tiger form, a very pale golden tiger, not a bright orange one. He led me straight through the Heartlight Wood to the beach. Across it was an island. (What's there changes every time. It's like a staging area.) It was volcanic. The cone had collapsed into a flattened shape that was about twice as tall as the trees at its base. The edges weren't beach, just black rock going into the water. (Maybe caves?). The water around it was not the greenish-turquoise shade of the Caribbean, it was much more blue, but still clear. and warm. The volcano was NOT active.
Edward told me that was my birth mountain. He explained that it existed so long ago it never had a name, and that it no longer exists now. I had the impression it was during Pangea, because the next thing he said was that back then all the oceans were one, and it's been so long that any water is my birth water. There is no "place" for me to go. It's everywhere and no where.
I found this picture of a volcanic island called Camiguin. It's not right, but it's better than I could draw. The mountain itself was much darker, almost black, and the tree line was more even. The top of the caldera was also more even. And the water was more blue. And obviously no other island right next to it. (Even if that picture had been accurate to what Edward showed me, the island was much farther away from the beach.)
photo source

I have done so much earth working with Merlin as part of my Shamballa Multi-dimensional healing teaching/learning that most of this was familiar to me (not the terminology but the concepts).
Hari Baba Melchizedek said years ago that no one needs to leave their homes to do earth work anymore. I used to teach the whole way of etherically implanting a cleansed crystalline matrix (12 pointed) into the earth as part of level 3/Advanced Healer. With the change to Shamballa Basic, it's been taken out, but I intend to teach it as a separate class because the knowledge is valuable.
So I know I could go back in time and find this island and build a matrix there. And one in the water too, and they would still be connected to me in this place and time, and all the other places and times I've been incarnate.
I was part of Steve Rother's Web of Light experiment a few years ago, to set up an etheric web of energy between lightworkers. (I can't find it online anymore but it used to be on
And the concepts of how the energy flows along those lines (ceques, she called them,--aka cords, in Huna) is also very familiar to me, and another concept I've taught in Shamballa MDH and also used in my Mayan-Aztec readings.
So was it a waste of my time? No. It's always interesting to see information from a different angle. I will do the etheric placement of the stones, and place more at Gail's and in Florida.
And I've told people about it. Feel free to contact me, as always. If you use comments, put your email address if you're commenting anonymously.