DaVinci Code movie review (spoilers)

The DaVinci Code
Sony Pictures
Cast: Tom Hanks (Robert Langdon), Audrey Tautou (Sophie Neveu), Ian McKellen (Sir Leigh Teabing), Alfred Molina (Bishop Aringarosa), Paul Bettany (Silas)
rating 3/5 stars

I went to see The DaVinci Code yesterday with my husband & his mom for mother's day. She's a Catholic and teaches at a private Catholic girls' school. She understands that it's fiction.
I understand that it's fiction. My husband understands that it's fiction.
I see so many posts on Yahoo Answers about how it's real that I stopped answering them.
I read the book when it came out, and the related book Angels and Demons as well. I liked Angels and Demons better. I thought DVC was a derivative book, not very original, with lots of stupid "Why didn't they...." moments.
At the end, when you see the elaborate way they followed the clues to find Mary Magdalene, you wonder how the dead grandfather had time to lay this all out as he was dying. Maybe some people are naturally good at anagrams (I'm not and never have been--the jumble in the paper always defeats me and I suck at Boggle despite my vast intelligence and vocabulary) but I'm not. If I was shot, I can't see myself laying out elaborate clues hither and yon and hoping someone--the right someone--will find them and follow them correctly. And they're clever anagrams, too.
One thing really bugged me in this movie. My husband laughs and says it's insignificant but my mother-in-law agrees. TWICE in the movie Tom Hanks pronouced "Li-brary" as "li-berry." This is a Harvard professor? Saying "liberry"? Will says it's an accent. I say it's a mis-pronunciation and it totally threw me out of the movie.
The same thing bugged me in the movie as the book. (My book reviews are gone, alas, the Dark Fiction site where they were all posted has gone away.) They are in an armored car. Instead of ditching it, they take it to a friend's house. Wouldn't just about any IDIOT much less a Harvard professor and a professional cop/code-breaker know (or at least guess) that an armored car would have a tracking device built in? PUL-LEESE.
As I watched the blonde guy Silas (they can call him an albino all they want, but I worked with a real albino and this actor wasn't one) torture himself in front of a crucifix, all I kept thinking was "I am SO GLAD I'm a pagan."
The only controversy I could see about the movie was that, if anything, it could push any disillusioned Catholics (not just Christians, because the Pope and bishops were involved) over the edge. And here we pagans will be, with open arms. "Welcome Home," we'll say. " We're glad you found us."
You want to believe that Mary Magdalene married Jesus and had children, an improbable unbroken line of females so their mitochondrial DNA can be traced right back to Mary's 2,000- year-old corpse? That idea is welcome here. Jesus was a man, not a god? We accept that too. You want to flagellate yourself for love of your god? On this side of the fence we call that S&M but sure, go ahead.
A personal thing about the movie that bugged me--Tom Hanks' hairdo made him look just like my cousin Dennis (the one getting married in Vegas in 2 months) so that was distracting. But if you don't know Dennis, it won't bug you.
This review will be cross-posted to www.ObsidianButterfly.com