I hate it when people criticize me. I always have. It makes me sick. It makes me want to cry. It's even worse when I know I deserve it, that I fucked something up. I just have this huge hole inside me that needs admiration, and when I get condemnation instead, I can't handle it.
And I can't fight back. Even if I didn't do something wrong, I can't/won't stand up for myself and say "I didn't do that" or "I did the right thing."
Tzolkin ends tomorrow. Maybe that's why I feel so antsy.
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