3 Cimi Intention portal (& how to pray)

12.19.12.13.6 3 Cimi 4 Zac

Well, we're back in a string of portal days, but these are the flip side. We've recieved, and now we ask for more. Do I need to go over the rules for asking? I think I should.

#1 Give thanks.
#2 Do NOT demean yourself.
#3 Sacrifice

Uh-oh, I said the S-word. If that scares you, you don't understand the word.

Here's how I was taught to pray when I used to be Catholic:
I had to be in church, or on my knees. I had to tell God how great he was. I had to tell God how crappy I was. I had to tell God I wasn't worthy of anything because I was a piece of slime. I had to make insane promises to God that I would never keep. And finally I got to make my request. But even making a request for myself was utterly selfish. Really, I should only pray for OTHER people--because as a piece of slime, I wasn't worthy.

A typical prayer, after the rote saying of the "our father" and "hail mary" and all that:
"God, I am not worthy of the slightest crumb of your attention; I am a bad little girl. I (insert sins here). I will say 10 (insert prayer name here) every day forever if you will just make (insert sick person here) better. This is not for me, but for (him/her)."

Then I learned Huna, and I learned how to pray properly.
1. Always find something good to thank the (energy/diety/angel) for. Do the thanking FIRST. Thank them for rain if it's been dry, or dry if it's been rain, or the recent promotion you recieved, or the out-of-season rose in your yard that bloomed just to say "hi". Thank them for your health (and if you're alive, you've got some!), your wealth, whatever it is that you've got and enjoy.
2. Make the request for YOU. No one cares about you if you don't. If you want your sick (person) to live, it's because you will miss (him/her). If you want a million dollars, it's to make YOUR life better. (We know that you are a good person and will help others with that money, but you can't help if you've got nothing.) You deserve to be well-treated. Don't apologize for your request or list your shortcomings. State your needs. Imagine this: you work with 2 people. One of them is a "poor me--I suck" person who constantly apologizes for everything, is timid and frightened and a martyr. The other person is bold and confident and self-assured. Who do you give the promotion to if their work is equal??
3. And offer a gift. This is the scary S word. If you choose to offer your blood (NOT EVER someone else's!), that's your choice. You can offer any of your essences you want (blood, sweat, tears, semen). You can swirl alcohol in your mouth and spit it on the ground or in a river (in a non-crude way please--no big loogies). You can bury a crystal, leave out food, whatever works. But you must give something up to get something in return.

Back to Cimi. Cimi is change. Change how you ask for things and see what happens!

2 Chicchan

12.19.12.13.5 2 Chicchan 3 Zac

Chicchan, the serpent kundalini energy. I feel like today the snake is sly and hiding. Why should he come out when the energy is so low, only a 2? Normally I'd say today was a day to do some gentle yoga or tai chi. But I think if you want to get your kundalini to wake up and pay attention today, you need to do something a bit rash. What that is, I couldn't (won't) say. Good luck.

1 kan

12.19.12.13.4 1 Kan 2 Zac

Back down to one energy...whew. Feels like naptime always, when we go from 13 to 1 every time.

Kan is the muse, the creative impetus energy, the kick-in-the-pants that gets us going. One is a strange energy. Although it's the lowest, it's also the impetus number (word of the day) so it's a double kick-in-the-pants day.

If you've been stalled (as I have been), if you haven't had that "spark"--today you should feel it! Go for it.

13 Akbal

12.19.12.13.3 13 Akbal 1 Zac

Ah, to be back in the energies of Akbal again! 13 is of course the most powerful Akbal day and might well turn into a day you non-Akbal people want to crawl inside a hole and hide. But if everyone's in a hole...how does that go? Anyway, if you are all in the hole with me today, then I'm free, right? I'm just like everyone else...although why I would want to be like anyone else escapes me. But some times, some days, I do briefly wish for it.

12 Ik

12.19.12.13.2 12 Ik 0 Zac

12 Ik-a day of communication, the wind, the breath of god. But with the number being so high, things can be misunderstood. Talking too much may loose your case instead of win it. Beware of the babble! And God's kiss today could bowl us right over.

However, if you're blessed with a silver tongue, things will go well for you today.

11 Imix

12.19.12.13.1 11 Imix 19 Yax

Whew, that's over (for another 250 days, anyway). I really don't like to examine myself so closely. Too afraid of what I'll find, I guess.

So we're back to plain ol' days (for a little while--then we have a mirror string of intention portals coming up).

11 Imix--11 is of course a master number, the number of illumination. And Imix is the Earth Mother, who protects us, and occasionally smothers us with hurricanes, typhoons, floods, tsunamis, mudslides, earthquakes, etc. Looking at what's been going on the last year, with all of the above killing thousands of people at a time. Maybe we do need to shine a light on that, and see why. It's terrible to think she doesn't love us anymore, and even worse to think we caused (are causing) this with our thoughtless behaviour of pollution and greed.

Maybe those reflection days aren't so over, huh?

10 Ahau (reflection/burner)

12.19.12.13.0 10 Ahau 18 Yax

Final reflection day! And burner day! This is it. And Ahau is so perfect for endings. It's the culmination of all the work we've done for the last 19 days. Bring it all together. How can all your musings and thoughts and little exercises have made you into the highest and best you can be?

And don't forget the burner day energy! Look for something to happen, a large event.

9 Cauac (reflection)

12.19.12.12.19 9 Cauac 17 Yax

Tomorrow ends this center row of the Tzolkin, these days of reflection. Today we're in Cauac, the rainstorm, which is appropriate since in the Northeast we just had something like 9 days straight of rain (it started the day I fell--the 8th). But Cauac isn't always about rain. It's about energy. I see it as Reiki of sorts, or qi, or mana, or whatever your word is.

So today, not only bless those pesky rainclouds, but really try to get a sense of that natural energy. You connected with it a few days ago during Ix; try to find it again.

8 Etznab (reflection)

12.19.12.12.18 8 Etznab 16 Yax

Etznab-sacrifice, balance, energy exchange, fairness.

Are you being treated fairly? Do you treat others fairly? You know in your heart when you have cheated people--left $3 as a tip when it should have been $4 because you didn't want to leave a $5 or wait for change. When the cashier didn't charge you for some small item that got left in the carriage by accident and not put on the conveyer. You can't go back and change what you did, but you can do something NOW with intent. Overtip another waiter. Give the price of the "free" item to charity. You know what you need to do. And think about it--did you really feel GOOD about yourself after you got your "something for nothing"?

7 Caban (reflection)

12.19.12.12.17 7 Caban 15 Yax

Caban, the quake, the sudden changes. The incense carrying our prayers (and offering) to the gods.

Make an offering today. Decide what it is you really want. The intention days are coming and if you want next Tzolkin's manifestations to go well, you have to start setting your intent NOW.

6 Cib (reflection)

12.19.12.12.16 6 Cib 14 Yax

Cib, the vulture, the karmic cleanser. I love how it comes right on the heels of Men, the accumulation of stuff! Such a lovely flow.

So you know what to do. Having contemplated what you have yesterday, today think of what you can dispose of, re-gift, find new homes for.

5 Men (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.15 5 Men 13 Yax

Men-accumulated wisdom/knowledge/objects. It's also the akashic records.

So today we reflect on everything we've ever done, because that's what the akashic records are. If that proves too daunting, just reflect on what you collect and whether it serves you (or you are using it to serve humanity).

4 Ix (reflection)

12.19.12.12.14 4 Ix 12 Yax

Hello Ix, the favorite of everyone who plays with Mayan Oracle cards! The beautiful swirl of rainbow earth energy on the card is truly beautiful.

So today we reflect on the natural energies available to us. The power of the sun, moon, stars, earth, tides...not just for magical use, but for traditional energy sources as well. Or should I say non-traditional? Although oil and oil-based products are also natural, the problem is that we're running out. We must switch! I want a hybrid SUV--I am working to manifest the money to pay off my existing (scary) bills and so I can think about getting one.

3 Ben (reflection)

12.19.12.12.13 3 Ben 11 Yax

Ben is the pathfinder, the trail blazer (the SUV name). Clearly today we must reflect upon forging new ways (thinking back on yesterday's musings on our life path!), and how doing so can help those who follow us.

2 Eb (reflection)

12.19.12.12.12 2 Eb 10 Yax

Eb, the path, and the karmic grass which grows beside it and holds us back.

Obvious what we need to reflect upon today--what is tying our hands? (nice metaphor huh)
keeping us from action, from moving forward? And just what is our path anyway?

1 Chuen (reflection)

12.19.12.12.11 1 Chuen 9 Yax

Chuen is the monkey, the trickster, creative urges, thinking outside the box, your inner child.

So today we reflect on new ways to do things, new paths to follow, and ways to make ourselves laugh, silly games to indulge our inner child with.

fell down

Yesterday I was going grocery shopping, because it was our 12th anniversay, and I was making a special dinner. Somehow I managed to fall down the steps and land on my back on the concrete sideway and I'm pretty sure I broke my tailbone. It was pouring rain at the time and I was sprawled on my back, all wet, crying, unable to get up. It was pretty horrible.
It hurts to sit, stand, walk, bend over, or move at all. My butt is bruised.
I am trying not to dwell on the pain but it's always there.

13 Oc (reflection & center)

12.19.12.12.10 13 Oc 8 Yax

Welcome to the exact center of the calendar! The pendulum swings from incoming energies to outgoing energies, from listening to talking.

Oc is your loyal companion (like the heros of Lord of the Rings), always there for you, your spirit guide, your guardian angel. 13 is the highest number, so that influence will reallly be felt today. It's also possible that YOU can be some else's angel, even if just for a moment. And that's what we can reflect on today: who are our angels, and who are we angels to?

12 Muluc (reflection)

12.19.12.12.9 12 Muluc 7 Yax

Muluc is water, emotion, trust, the moon. One of the harder days to interpet (it's easier when it comes up in a card spread). So what do we reflect on? We can look at the reliablity of the moon and how it always comes back and see that everything comes in cycles great & small (like this very Tzolkin!), and trust that everything will come around again.

11 Lamat (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.8 11 Lamat 6 Yax

Lamat is self-indulgence & taking care of yourself first. (It can tip into selfishness, or what I call "drunkeness and promiscuity".) It is also related to astrology (since Lamat is the star, the planet Venus) and therefore to all kinds of things like tarot cards, palm reading (and of course the Mayan Oracle cards, which are what I read).

So today's a day to reflect on how you can better take care of yourself, and even the ways that you can get advice on how to do so.

10 Manik (reflection)

12.19.12.12.7 10 Manik 5 Yax

10 Manik. Getting into high energy (manic energy, haha, bad pun). Manik is cooperation with others, helping others (helping hand). It's also being a tool of the gods & feeling used.

Obviously what we need to reflect on is: are we helping others? Are we being manipulated by forces beyond our control (not just spiritual, but at work and in relationships)?

9 Cimi (reflection)

12.19.12.12.6 9 Cimi 4 Yax

9 Cimi--change, change, change. Getting past the balanced type of change and heading toward the bigger ones.

So what to reflect upon today? Duh--what to change? What is changing? Of course, at its base, every daysign is about change, isn't it?

I have one faithful reader (thank you) but I was hoping to have more after all these months. Apparently I am the only freak out there who really loves this stuff.

Oh well. I guess I'll soldier on. Someday this might have meaning to someone. I like doing it.

I might be crazy but I think I saw Viggo Mortensen at the Durham Fair

Not last weekend but the weekend before that, I went to the Durham Fair with my parents and my mom's best friend. We were sitting outside the commercial building right before we went home (so it was maybe 6:15 p.m.) and this guy comes limping toward us. I noticed him from about 20 feet away because he had SUCH a limp. And since I was looking at him anyway, I kept looking. And my first thought was that he looked EXACTLY like Viggo Mortensen. [I won't mention how many times I went to see Return of the King in the theater (5) or how many times I've watched it on DVD since then (uncounted-at least 20) plus the other 2. So I know what he looks like.]

So this poor schmuck is gimping toward me, with this gorgeous chiseled face and this horrible limp, and I have a moment of pity for him. But as he came closer, my only thought was that it WAS Viggo with a fake limp. I had no idea what to say. I just watched him limp by, and he looked right at me and I smiled and he smiled back. And it was totally him, I swear it.

My husband says that I am insane and it wasn't Viggo. (He wasn't there, BTW.) He said what the hell would Viggo Mortensen be doing at the Durham Fair? Why would he be in Connecticut on a Friday night at all?

I didn't tell anyone (until now). But then that Monday night, he was the guest on The Daily Show, which is right in NYC (2 hours away). And his hair was just like I saw it that Friday. Same color/style/cut. And anyone who's a fan of his knows he changes his hair color & style often.

A couple of years ago there was an article in some magazine (Vogue? I threw it away recently, damnit) and Viggo was interviewed IN CONNECTICUT at the Thimble Islands (in Branford--only a few minutes from Durham).

And the final clincher. On Sunday we went to see A History of Violence, Viggo's new movie. In one part he has a hurt foot and he's running, and IT WAS THE SAME LIMP.

And of course, we all know how Viggo likes horses--he bought Brego, his horse from LOTR and he also bought Hidalgo, from that movie. And the Durham Fair is the biggest fair in Connecticut, including horses and such things.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

selfish or self first?

I feel like I don't want to do anything for anyone anymore.
No hits on this blog or my other two blogs, or on my website.
No nibbles on any of my classes. Even the people who have taken classes and want to advance have been blowing me off or jerking me around.
People say that I have so much knowledge that needs to be shared. But when I offer to share it, no one shows up.
I decided last week to end my monthly Lightworker meetings. No one's been coming lately. And no one in my group made a protest when I made the announcement. Wehn I asked for help to keep the meetings going, only 1 person volunteered and it was for a very small job. My best friend and I started the group years ago but when she had her baby she lost interest and it all fell on me. She doesn't even come to every meeting anymore. I've changed the format, changed the night, no one cares. So that's done.
Right now I don't even know if I'm going to offer any pre-scheduled classes next year. I don't want to. It's such waste of my time to get all hyped up and get no responses.

8 Chicchan (reflection) & Happy Birthday to my beloved 7 Flower

12.19.12.12.5 8 Chicchan 3 Yax

Today is the Celebration day for Chicchan, which is kundalini energy and lower chakra energy. So it's obvious what we are supposed to reflect upon today. Have you been neglecting your lower chakras, ignoring your survival instincts and your body's needs and instead concentrating on your upper chakras and spiritual pursuits? I recently moved my attention to those lower chakras, dispensed temporarily with my weekly therapy and instead am doing 5 hours a week in the gym. Wow. What a difference.

Today's my best friend's baby's first (Julian) birthday (Mayan Birthday 7 Ahau). The energy of 8 Chicchan will guide her next year. As a baby, she can't do much about sex but we can work with her physically, maybe teach her some yoga or tai-chi or chi-gung.

7 Kan (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.4 7 Kan 2 Yax

7-is the balanced center & Kan is the muse, the seed, the lizard.

And we are in the center days, the reflection days. Today we reflect upon the little hints we are given by the universe. Do you follow up, do you try things out? Do you ever play "what if"? What if you left for work 5 minutes early and took the back road past the pond full of swans? Wouldn't that enrich your day more than driving a mile a minute on the highway? And yes, I have such a pond near where I work! (Lucky me.)

6 Akbal (Reflection)

12.19.12.12.3 6 Akbal 1 Yax

Akbal is about the coccoon, the place where you feel safe to change, and also about the secrets you hide deep inside. Are those secrets festering and bubbling forth in your life? Is there really any place where you feel utterly safe and protected? Are you too scared to truly be yourself anywhere, with anyone?

5 Ik Reflection day & welcome Yax

12.19.12.12.2 5 Ik 0 Yax

I believe Yax means the center, and it does match up nicely with this Tzolkin, since we're in the Center/Reflection days right now.

Ik is communication. Think about your communication skills. Is it easy for you to tell people what you want; do they hear what you say and understand what you mean? Do you really listen to other people or just skip over their feelings and return to your own agenda?