Tuesday, August 01, 2006

bye bye Zen-Zen :(

12.19.13.9.6 10 Cimi 19 Xul
Today, the last day of Xul, on the day 10 death, my sweet Zen (the black cat) went Home. I took him to the vet yesterday for his shots and the vet was concerned about his funky breathing and kept him overnight. He called this morning to say the procedure he'd done was successful and I could probably take Zen home at 4:00, then at noon he called to say my kitty had a heart attack and couldn't be saved. He was 2 weeks shy of being 13 years old.
Zen was the most lovable friendly cat in the world, always purring, always happy, the very definition of unconditional love. I feel like my heart has been pulverized--I lost Gwennie, Goober, Prism and now Zen in less than a year. They were all wonderful loving animals and I'm glad that I got to live with all of them, however briefly (3 weeks for Prism) or long (15 years for Goober). I loved them all very much and they all knew it.
To say I feel punished, confused, angry, guilty, heartbroken--it's all an understatement. But I've found that my body will make as many tears as I care to cry, and my heart will open to love as many creatures as I choose to embrace.

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